13 Flames | gxg

36 - hold on

Lexa

Palmer downs the shot in one go, throwing her head back. My eyes trace her exposed neck and I bite my lip to keep from grinning like a fool. She didn't even hesitate. I wonder what the question was.

Once she's done she motions for me to go. I smile at her and slide the coaster from underneath the shot glass. I don't have to read the name, seeing as it's the same one as Palmer's.

What is the strangest place you've woken up?

I smile to myself and set the coaster down on the table. Palmer eyes me curiously. "A college dorm," I announce, "at the wrong college."

Palmer laughs, a confused expression on her face. "Come on, you have to tell us now!" she complains.

I look between the shot and the coaster. I have to announce one, and this one isn't bad. I read the question to them and Palmer points at me. "I want the story later," she demands.

I roll my eyes. "Then tell me what your question was."

She smirks but doesn't answer, moving on to the next shot.

"Scarlett Johansson," she says out loud.

I raise an eyebrow as Jimmy exclaims, "What!?" from behind us. Palmer smiles and eyes the shot.

"Hang on," I reach forward and cover the shot glass. "Go on."

She sighs. "I guess I can say this one... okay. Who's your celebrity hall pass?" I start laughing along with everyone else. Palmer doesn't even blush.

I pick up my second coaster. Have you ever said something you seriously regret and who was involved?

Damn. I know the answer, of course. I glance at Palmer, chewing my lip. I pick up the shot glass.

"Yes," I address Palmer. "You."

Without hesitation, I take the shot. The alcohol burns my throat but the flavors blend nicely on my tongue. I shake my head to clear the sensation and set down the empty glass. Palmer stares at me.

She reaches for the coaster but I grab her hand. "Not a chance, Drake," I smirk. She smiles and backs off, and we both move to the third shot.

"So for this one you two have the same question and you decide to drink together," Jimmy reminds us. We both nod and pick up the coasters.

Would you kiss Palmer by choice, without a camera?

My breath hitches in my throat. I glance up and know that Palmer has the same question about me. I sigh and put it down on the table.

"Same time?" she offers.

She counts to three. "Yes," we say together. Palmer smiles and raises her shot glass as I do the same.

"Cheers." She smiles. We drink together.

────

The rest of the show finished quickly and Palmer and I got right back on the jet to fly back to LA. I was hoping we'd get some time around the city. I should come back with her sometime.

We now sit on the show's private jet, in big plush chairs across from each other. She's changed into ripped jeans and a t-shirt, her feet bare and her hair tossed messily over her part. She's looking out the window, staring off into space, one leg thrown over the arm rest as she sits sideways.

She feels my eyes on her and glances my way. She shoots me a half smile and I realize I'm staring. At the way her hair falls across her shoulders, her fingers tapping against the leather seat, her lips so soft and inviting and her legs spread apart giving me full view of her-

"Hey," she says softly.

I give her a small smile. "Hi."

We sit for a few minutes, staring at each other. I know what she wants to ask me. It's been a couple weeks since our discussion on the floor of her dressing room. I honestly haven't had much time to worry about it, between the show and planning for the wedding. It's in a month and so much needs to be done still. I hardly sleep anymore. As soon as I think of sleep my mouth parts into a yawn.

"Tired?" Palmer asks.

"Yeah. Haven't slept much recently."

"Stress?"

I nod silently. Palmer regards me with concern and scoots over in her seat. She pats the space beside her. I smile and cross the aisle to her. The chair is just big enough for both of us to squeeze in. She wraps her arm around my shoulders and I nuzzle into her side. She smells amazing, jasmine drifting over my senses.

"Have you had a chance to think about what I said?" she asks softly.

I keep my eyes forward but pull my legs up sideways onto the seat, leaning further into her. "I think you're right," I whisper. "But I don't want to admit it."

She rubs my back with her hand. "That's okay, Lex. Take as much time as you need. You have enough going on."

Palmer listens for the next ten minutes as I ramble on about wedding planning and my family and the show and James. Everything. She doesn't stop rubbing my back and her other hand finds mine, squeezing gently.

When I'm all out of words we sit silently, my body wrapped up in her embrace.

"Lexa?" she whispers. I glance up at her to find her dark brown eyes staring deep into mine. "Maybe you should push back the wedding."

I sit up sharply and slide halfway out of her arm around my shoulders. "What?"

She scoots closer again. "You can't keep pushing yourself over the edge. You hardly sleep, always worried, frustrated. You can't do everything at once."

"I'm fine." It comes out harsher than I intend. Palmer glances down and removes her arm from my shoulders, leaving them cold. But she doesn't let go of my hand.

"I'm worried about you, Lex."

I drop her hand and stand. "Don't be." I feel a pang of guilt when she looks up at me with hurt in her eyes. But I can't move the wedding. I need the wedding. Once I'm married, everything will go back to normal. I won't have to worry about my sexuality, or any feelings I may have for Palmer. Because I'll be with James.

I take my own seat again and avoid Palmer's gaze. I open my laptop and review the most recent decisions I've made about the wedding, as well as doing more research. Her gaze burns holes into the side of my head. I almost apologize.

I want to marry James. I'm in love with James.

If I say it enough maybe I'll believe it.

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a/n
hiii sorry i'm posting so late it's been one shit show of a day but i did it!! let me know how y'all are enjoying the story ;) Palmer is so soft with Lexa and i just- ugh i want a girlfriend anyways thank y'all for all the love <3<3<3
:)