13 Flames | gxg

24 - give or take

Palmer

I jerk back when I realize what I'm doing. When I realize that I almost kissed her. My hands drop from her waist and I take a step back in the suddenly cold water. She blinks, hard, as if confused.

I open my mouth to say something but no words come out. The backyard descends into silence as the others watch.

Her eyes are still on me. A million emotions flash through that emerald green. I wade to the edge of the pool and pull myself out. My clothes are dripping wet. It's a good thing I took my boots off earlier. I rush past the others and into the bathroom right inside the door of the house.

I lean against the counter, dripping water onto the floor. My wet hair falls into my face. I was going to kiss her. I wanted to kiss her. But I couldn't. I can't. I can't feel this way.

My body starts to shiver in the heavy air conditioning. I pull my soaking wet blazer off, draping it over the counter. I jump when I hear a knock at the door.

"Palmer?" It's Lexa. It's always Lexa. I open the door and let her in without a word. She closes the door behind her but doesn't step closer. Our normal comforting silence is awkward and icy. "Is there something we should talk about?"

I force a smile. "Nope, all good here."

She takes another step closer and I meet her eyes in the mirror. Her hair drips around her face, her blouse tight against her skin. I can see her bra through the wet fabric.

"I don't want things to be weird between us," she confesses. She steps to my side and my eyes fall from hers. "I need you, Palmer," she whispers, "I need my best friend."

Half my heart rejoices at the words and the other half dies.

The smile comes easier this time. "I'm not going anywhere," I promise. Lexa stays quiet. Another knock comes from the door.

"Girls?" Joseph calls. "I brought you some shirts to wear while your clothes are in the dryer."

I step around Lexa and open the door. Joseph stands there with two big t-shirts. "You don't have anything else?" I ask him. "Like underwear?"

"Why would I have women's underwear, Palmer?"

I allow a smile. "Fair point. But I'd wear boxers," I point out. He frowns, unhappy with the idea of sharing his underwear with me.

"Thanks anyways. Where's the dryer?" He nods behind me and I see the washing machine and dryer set into an alcove in the wall. "Oh, thanks."

I glance behind me at Lexa, who still stands by the counter in silence. "Uh, do you have another room I could wait in?"

Joseph shakes his head. "You're not dripping through my house. Stay here." He hands me the t-shirts and closes the door before I have a chance to object.

I sigh and turn back to Lexa. "You want Led Zeppelin or ACDC?"

She finally cracks a smile. She doesn't answer so I toss her the Led Zeppelin t-shirt. I turn around and strip off my pants. It takes me a moment to realize that she can see me in the mirror. I glance over my shoulder and meet her eyes in the reflection.

"Oh, uh, sorry," she stutters. "I'll go over here." She turns from the mirror and faces the other bathroom wall. I smile to myself and strip until I'm naked before throwing the t-shirt over my head. It falls to my knees like a loose dress.

I toss my clothes into the dryer. "You done?" I ask, keeping my eyes away.

"Yeah." She hands me her wet clothes and I toss them in with mine. There's 51 minutes until our clothes are dry. I try my hardest to ignore the way the t-shirt hangs off her chest, and the thought that she's not wearing any underwear.

I walk around her and sit on the floor, leaning my back against the vanity. She does the same opposite me, her back to the wall beside the shower. I keep my eyes on my hands as I twist my many rings around my fingers. The silence is overpowering. Finally, I can't help myself.

"Give or take."

She looks at me, confused. "What?"

"Give or take," I say again.

"You mean the drinking game?"

I give a half smile. "I wish. But no. It's just a game to pass the time."

She looks at me with interest. "How do you play?"

"You try to ask a question before the other person," I explain. "You have to answer truthfully. And when you're finished answering, you can ask one, but not if they beat you to it."

"So we just talk?"

"Pretty much."

"Where did you grow up?" she dives right in.

"Hey, I didn't know we started!" I complain.

"Too bad. Answer."

I smile. "A little town in a little state way up in nowhere. Louisville, New Hampshire."

"What was it like?" She quickly follows up. I barely opened my mouth to ask something.

I sigh. "Little. But nice. Not so small that you knew everyone, but small enough that you could recognize half the people on the street. And good for skateboarding." She opens her mouth but I beat her to it. "What about you?"

"New York, you know that."

"New York's a pretty big place."

"Queens," she goes on. "A little brownstone with my parents."

"No siblings?"

"Nope. You?"

"Older sister."

She smiles. "So skateboarding?"

I return the grin. "More like cruising. No tricks or anything. Just a way to get out of the house during the summer."

She doesn't ask a follow-up but I continue anyway. "Me and my friends, the summer before sophomore year, none of us could drive yet. We would meet up at one girl's house and skateboard downtown. We'd get ice cream and skate down by the river. And then buy candy and soda at the store on the corner and lie on the pavement in the parking lot of our old elementary school." The memory brings a smile to my lips. "One time a police officer rolled up and asked what we were doing. Probably thought it was drugs. When he saw the candy he just laughed and went on his way."

"Why'd you leave?"

I refocus my eyes on hers. "Opportunity. There's so much more than the borders of a small town."

"But you can always go back home," she smiles.

"Yeah," I say quietly. "I should show you sometime."

"I bet you can see the stars there."

"Like you're on the moon."