13 Flames | gxg

33 - take five

Palmer

"Palmer?" I hear a voice calling through my door. It's Alex. "Palmer, I know you're in there."

I don't respond, staring at my reflection in the mirror. My tears streak through my makeup, leaving my face messy with black mascara. My expression is blank. I look numb. I feel numb.

"Palmer, don't make me break down this door," Alex warns.

Sighing, I reach up and unlock it without moving from the floor. He hears the latch click and pushes inside. The door swings open beside me, bumping into my foot. He looks around frantically before seeing me in the mirror. He frowns and closes the door, sitting next to me on the floor. For a few minutes, neither of us say anything.

"What happened?"

I hesitate before answering to make sure my voice doesn't crack. "She and James were arguing about me. She said some things. Didn't know I could hear her."

Alex scoots closer to me, our shoulders pressed against each other. "She didn't mean it, Palmer."

"Then why does it hurt so much?" I whisper. Tears brim in my eyes again. Alex sighs and puts an arm around me, drawing me in. I let him, curling up against his side and resting my head on his shoulder.

"Because you care," he says.

"I wish I didn't."

"I know, Palmer."

---

Fifteen minutes later someone else knocks on my door. I'm still wrapped in Alex's arms, his hand rubbing my back. I've stopped crying.

"Palmer?" It's Matt. "Hey, I know something's going on right now. And I feel awful, but we need you, Palmer. Take your time. Come out when you're ready." Once again, I don't respond. I listen to his footsteps trailing off down the hall.

Sighing, I shrug away from Alex and pull myself to my feet. I wash the ruined makeup off my face until it's bare and reapply mascara and lipgloss. Alex watches me, sitting on the arm of the couch. I pull my tear-stained shirt over my head and change into another one. I look in the mirrors again and plaster on a fake smile. You could never tell the difference.

My lips drop back into a frown and I head for the door. Alex blocks my way. "You're not okay, Palmer."

I stand just in front of him and have to tilt my head back to look him in the eye. "I never said I was."

"Take five."

"I just took twenty. I have a job to do." I move to step around him but he grabs my arm.

He opens his mouth to speak but hesitates. I wait as he finds the right words. "Don't hurt yourself more, Palmer. I'm here, whenever you need it."

I surprise us both by drawing him into a tight hug. I have to stand on my tiptoes to wrap my arms around his neck. He takes my waist and tucks his head against my shoulder.

"Thank you," I whisper into his chest. He rubs my back for a moment and then we let go. Taking a deep breath, I reach for the door.

The set is unusually quiet as I enter. Lexa's nowhere to be found. I weave through the crowded room to where Matt stands with the rest of the cast. Everyone is either staring at me or doing everything they can not to look at me.

I look around at my friends' concerned faces. "We'll talk about it later," I tell them, hoping to move on and get this over with. They all give me various nods.

"Where's Lexa?" Matt asks.

"I'm here."

I don't turn around. I can't look at her. I'm afraid if I do I'll start crying again. The silence is suffocating.