#1

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Warning!!! I have not placed TW's on most of these chapters!!! But this includes: Depictions of and ED, self harm, SMUT, and rape/ sexual assault (Not to y/n) 

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Warning!!! I have not placed TW's on most of these chapters!!! But this includes: Depictions of and ED, self harm, SMUT, and rape/ sexual assault (Not to y/n) 

Hiraeth; a homesickness to a home that you can not return to. You need to be in his presence. The guilt of not being there anymore. He was your blinding lighthouse light in a world of water and darkness pulling you under. Lost at sea, suffocating needing that reassuring light that it was not the end. You can't... escape.... they're grasp.

"Shit!! I can't be late on my first day." You just reached your dream of joining the FBI, in the BAU. The only thing keeping you from crumbling and crying over your nerves was what Pen said last night. You and Penelope have been friends she came in to speak in one of your classes in college. You love her more than anything else in the world and she feels the same about you. She told you about your future coworkers and what to expect.

For JJ she talked about how kind and compassionate she is. She said Emily was a real badass, but will also be your shoulder to cry on. Finally she talked about Spencer Reid "boy wonder, is a genius, although with you around Y/N he might have some competition." You graduated at 15 and got a doctorate for psychology. 

You met SSA Rossi a couple of weeks ago when you were interviewed. You got in the elevator together then went to the same floor so he showed where to go. When you walked into your future boss's office also known as Aaron Hotchner, there was a handsome very kind eyed man sitting in the room. Hotch says "You must be Y/N, here for the interview?" You blurt out "Yep that's me". Then Derek Morgan introduced himself, he was so kind and he had a great handshake.

He started flirting, but pen reassured you that that was just something he did. You felt off about that, was he some kind of weird man or has he just been through enough trauma that his coping strategy is to flirt? You remember learning about how guys with a rough past, usually with abuse, rape, or sexual assault flirt as a way to feel in control. 

---

You throw on black jeans and a nice white blouse, then grab a nice pair of black high heels. You throw on makeup, making sure that your hair compliments your features. Finally you grab your go bag and run out the door, making sure to lock it then jiggle the doorknob.

You bust through the elevator (even though you were only a minute late), you basically almost fell on your face, landing on your knees someone catching you from hitting the floor. You whisper to yourself but loud enough for it to be audible"Ughh, I'm such a klutz." You look to see who caught you, and the first thing you see his dinosaur mismatching socks. You look up to see his gorgeous boy band haircut with his shaggy brown hair and his gorgeous eyes intently looking at you. He had beautiful dark hazel almost brown eyes, and the cutest little button nose.

You look up and see Penelope and the rest of the team staring at you. Penelope runs over to give you a big hug, and makes sure you're ok then blurts out "This is y/n y/l/n, and y/n this is JJ " Pointing to a gorgeous blond. "This is Emily Prentiss'' Pointing to a short haired brunette with a big smile. "And that is Spencer'' Pointing to the tall man who caught you. You greet them all, making sure to also say hi to Rossi, and Morgan when Hotch busts in saying "We'll debrief on the plane, wheels up in 30."

Everyone packs into the elevator Morgan, Reid, and Emily in the back, then you JJ and hotch by the elevator buttons. There's awkward silence until Morgan out of nowhere busts out laughing, followed by a "What are you looking at kid." You could tell he was referring to Reid because everyone looked directly at him. "I was reading the procedure on the wall." You got a little nervous because Reid was directly behind you and the procedure was in front of you right about where your waist was. You felt your cheeks get pink as Reid said that. You have already embarrassed yourself enough. 

Debriefing on the plane; we're going over the case when hotch finishes off with "If this is a stranger abduction, we have less than 24 hours to bring Gabby back alive."Well, this is what you wanted right?  

You walked to the front of the plane behind the curtain to get water, when JJ and Emily came in. They exchange hello's, and you ask a few questions about the case. Neither of them had very detailed explanations. Then you asked about the team. JJ responded "You may not realise it but you just joined a family." After what happened in the elevator you were a little focused on Reid. You felt like he was distancing himself from you. Emily says " So.. Reid he's cute?" You didn't want to make things weird, you had only just met the guy. "Yeah, he seems sweet."

You started to feel more comfortable around them so you blurted out, "Is he always this quiet, just with the way Penelope described I thought he would be alot more outspoken." JJ says "I don't know, he does seem a little bit off." Prentiss said "He probably just has something on his mind."

Later into the case-- You spent most of the case observing you didn't say much. You didn't want to interrupt or be wrong. You were afraid of their opinions. They were all so supportive and encouraging.

--- On the plane---

You were exhausted, you were barely able to keep your eyes open, Reid came by and sat across from you with a nice cup of coffee. "I didn't know how you like it" you responded with "Thank you, coffee is coffee I don't think it matters." You sat up to have a conversation with him. You were so uncomfortable the go-bag you packed didn't have any comfy clothes in it, only professional tight uncomfortable stuff. It was like he knew. Well, he was a profiler. You were bad at hiding it when something made you uncomfortable. He reached into his bag and pulled a crew neck that was huge he told you, you could wear it as long as you gave it back. "Thank you, I'm going to go change into it." When you got back he looked at you like he has never seen a woman before.

"What?"

"It looks way better on you than me"

He seemed so kind. No one had given you a compliment like that since college. 

"I highly doubt that."

You passed out and woke up to him lightly shaking you. "Y/n, come on were back now." You sat up in your seat. You rubbed at your eyes, trying to wake you up more. 

When everyone got back to quantico he offered to drive you home. You were so tired of course you said yes. You gave him your address which was apparently really close to his. When the car stopped you woke up and saw him open your door and unbuckle your seat belt for you and he walked you to your door. He said "I'm really sorry for scaring you on the plane." "You didn't scare me you just startled me that's all." you blurted out. You said your goodbyes as he walked back to his car. You watched through your window to make sure he was safe, you watched as he drove away. You went over to make sure your door was locked, you have 3 locks on your door.

You passed out then woke up to screaming next door. Then you heard banging on your door. You jumped up, grabbed your gun, looked through the peephole to see a woman crying. She yells "help" you open the door asking her what's going on before letting her in. She says her husband was beating her, you let her in and have a conversation keeping your gun next to you. You inform her you're an FBI agent, as soon as you said that she tried to leave saying "I just fell it's my fault." You knew that wasn't the case you made her stay, you didn't sleep all night and didn't want to leave her alone.

To be continued

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Ok so the first few chapters are shit sorry about that but trust me the story gets a million times better. ;)

Just to clarify: In this fic y/n has a great relationship with JJ and I don't want the slander. She just picked up on JJ's obvious flirting. 

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