MY MARRIED MATE

35.

He did not move at all, it took two whole minutes for my brain to register that he wasn't hugging me back or should I say he wasn't touching me at all. I stepped back to stand near his bed, noticed his movements.

He was sitting on the bed looking tired, fragile and somewhat lifeless. That thought terrified my soul and the way his eyes were locked out the window like he was thinking hard about something, something which made him like that, didn't settle well in me. Then he turned his head and his eyes landed on me.

Those eyes locked on me, watching me with such a intensity that my knees buckled. I had to hold onto the table next to his bed to keep myself up. I slowly ran my gaze over him, taking in his state, he still had bandages, his complexion is paler than usual. He had lost weight which made him look all the more dead. God, what am I thinking?

It is so difficult to look at him at the same time him not looking at me. Every single emotion is trying to burst out of my chest and show him just exactly how important he is for me. My fingers are twitching to reach out and touch his soft skin, run my hands through his soft hair, to feel his lips on mine, to hold him tightly.

The urge to bury my nose in his neck, inhale his sweet-seductive-delicious scent, is so strong and overwhelming that my whole body is shaking. I want to mark him, to make him mine. This feelings come out as hot, salty tears. My visions blurred, I quickly rubbed it away. I don't want to live even a single second in which I can't see him.

I reached out and hugged him again. My nose in the crook of his neck, his scent wrapped around me like a safety blanket, making me feel warm inside as well I could think of every possible thing that could wrong. As much as liked being able to hold, I can't stop these scary thoughts. My entire body went cold when he backed away from me. His eyes locked on me, cold and hard.

I don't know how to describe this feeling in my chest, it's like he will vanish if I take my eyes off him even for a second. While my hands were itching to hold him again I knew he doesn't want me to touch him right now.

So I stood next to him, taking some time to collect my thoughts and emotions. I have a lot to tell and explain him. I have to choose my words carefully, if not, I might not able to make him understand how I feel about him or what he actually means to me.

But my mouth couldn't form a single word when he was still looking at me as if I was a stranger, we stared at each other for god knows how long. His stare became hard and calculative by very passing minute. That  emotionless yet hard and expressive look on face stabbed my heart, does it make any sense? Because it does, to me atleast.

Before I could open my mouth to say anything, James and Drew barged into the room. James acknowledged my presence by a nod, he sat on the stool. Drew took the spot next to the door.

~:: What are you two doing here, Drew? ::~

~:: Thought you need some help. I was sure you wouldn't be able to utter a single word. So I aksed James to come and handle it on his own. He needs to know about you and what is your relationship is with him ::~

I was so relieved to hear that. Of course it is time to tell him, what actually bothering me is, his reaction. How will he react to all of it? Still I know, I am not sure how I would have explained things to Elliot. I smiled at Drew to show him how grateful I am.

~:: Thank you. ::~

~:: Just imagine me rolling my eyes. ::~

I turned my attention back to Elliot. James examined him from head to toe. It was then I noticed the deep scratch running down James' face. The wound was still healing which meant someone had done a number on him. I spin my head to question Drew about but he was lost in his own thoughts not that I can blame him.