Suber: The Uber of Sex (Queer Erotica Short Stories)

Part 40: Ronin & Lily

"Your friend said it had been a while since you had been out on a date." Ronin was two vodka-sodas in and still hadn't explained the truth about the "date" with Lily. He'd tried at least half a dozen times, but each time there was something in Lily's bright eyes that stole his words.

"Crystal?" Lily asked. She looked at him strangely.

Ronin wasn't sure about the meaning behind that look. "Right, yeah."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess it has." Shrugging, she looked into her half-filled cosmo. "Last relationship didn't go super great."

Ronin leaned a bit closer. "What happened?"

With a wincing smile, she shook her head. "Oh, I don't want to be that person."

"What person is that?"

"You know, that person that whines about their ex's when they're on a date."

"Oh." Ronin tried not to wince at the word 'date.' "Well, I don't mind."

"The quick version—he was a manipulative asshole." She nodded towards her friends at the table in the corner, now chatting with three other men. "They tried to tell me, but, of course, I didn't listen. No one ever does, right?"

Ronin scoffed and nodded. "That's the truth. How long were you with him?"

Lily took a drink. "Two years. We were engaged."

"Oh, man. That really sucks, I'm sorry. What ended it?"

Lily's head tilted in thought. "You know, I think it was a lot of things, but the last straw—it was weird, actually. My dad had never said anything good or bad about Mark, but one day he looked at me and he said, 'you shouldn't be with someone who makes you feel bad.'" She was quiet a moment. "I realized, whenever we were together, I just felt bad about everything. I felt guilty for everything, responsible for everything. And I was never enough."

Exhaling through his nose, Ronin nodded slowly. "I know that feeling. It's good you got out."

"Yeah. It is." She took another sip. "I wouldn't go back and I know I did the right thing but..." Shaking her head, she gave a dry laugh. "Fuck my life, dating sucks."

This time, Ronin couldn't hide his wince. He gave a weak laugh. "Yeah, it does."

With a small smile, her eyes brightened as she looked up at him. "This is the first good date I've been on in... I don't know how long."

Ronin's heart sank. He finished his drink and sighed. "Lily, I have to tell you something."

The brightness dimmed. "Uh oh." She hesitated. "What?"

Taking a breath through his teeth, Ronin looked down at the bar. "I'm not a friend of Crystal's. She hadn't met me before tonight."

"Oh." Some of the worry in her expression faded. "I kinda guessed that when you said 'your friend' earlier. Did you meet... online?"

"Kinda. Well, yeah." Just say it. "Do you know what Suber is?"

"Uhh, no. Is that a dating app?"

Fuck. Ronin tried not to look at her. "Not exactly. I, um, work there. On the app." He paused, inwardly cringing and bracing at the same time. "Your friends bought you a date. With me."

For a moment, she didn't speak. Then, a quiet, slumping, "Oh."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know until I got here and they told me. I didn't know how to... I'm sorry."