Suber: The Uber of Sex (Queer Erotica Short Stories)

Part 15: Trent

Author's note; this might not be a great chapter for folks struggling with ftm gender dysphoria. If you're not in a great headspace, be kind to yourself, and maybe skip this chapter for a bit.

Trent sat down on the couch with a heavy sigh. Leaning back, he scrubbed a hand over his sweaty neck, up to his prickly hair. After a two-hour workout, every muscle in his body throbbed. He tried to pull in a deep breath, fighting the binder over his chest. Looking over his sweaty body, he frowned. No matter how hard he worked out, his soft, round belly never seemed to get any tougher. The jagged edges that other guys had never seemed to form.

He'd been at it for months. It was frustrating—beyond frustrating. Every other guy had it so fucking easy. All the right muscles, all the right hormones, the right voice and height and face shape—already installed. No fucked up situations with locker rooms and showers and bathrooms and doing work-outs at home and making their entire bedroom smell like sweat. No girl wanted to fuck in a bedroom that smelled like Planet Fitness. Not that he'd had much luck with girls regardless.

It had been over a year since he came out, over a year since Melanie. Trent tried not to miss her and tried not to blame her. Still, he found himself with a water bottle in one hand and his phone in the other, open to Melanie's Instagram. She was with somebody new—her latest picture showed her embracing a bronzed beauty on a beach. Trent traced the curves of her body with his longing eyes, still remembering the exhilarating scorch of her skin. Fast or slow, soft or hard, nothing had ever felt as good as making love to her. With her body wrapped around him, all the frustrations fell away. He'd felt completely like himself, even if she hadn't seen it.

Rolling his eyes, he clicked off her page. It was pointless to think about. She liked girls. That was all there was to it.

He didn't regret coming out. There hadn't been a choice. But being in sexual limbo was one frustration he hadn't thought would affect him quite so much. Straight girls didn't see him, gay girls didn't see him—not that he'd had much courage to try after Melanie left. But the Confident Man that he visualized for himself felt like the top of a mountain he might never reach. Surgeries, hormones, working out—he wanted it, but how long would it take? And even if he did it all—what if other girls were just like Melanie?

What would you ask for

if you never had to

feel guilty?

Trent stopped scrolling. A dark-haired woman in an advertisement aimed her mischievous smile right at him. Her eyebrow rose once; an invitation. Swallowing, Trent flipped to the next slide. This time a blonde with a half-innocent, half-alluring smile looked at him. She looked at lot like Melanie.

Satisfaction

For every desire

A click away.

He flipped the next slide. The man and woman in the background picture were just silhouettes, but their ecstasy was clear. Trent bit his lip. Overlaid across the tantalizing image were just five words:

Suber

The Uber

of Sex

He'd heard about Suber. An app to pay for sex. Just about any type of consensual sex, or so he'd heard. The thought filled him with a surge of excitement accompanied by the tight twist of guilt. It didn't seem right to pay for something as intimate as sex. Then again, was it really so bad? No one was getting hurt; sex work was legal now and Suber was completely consensual, the administrators made sure. Was it really so bad to pay for an evening of being wanted?

Trent studied the woman in the background; her head thrown back, her legs wrapped around her partner, her arms around his back. He missed the warmth of another person.

Taking a breath, he clicked the link.

To be continued...

... 

Author's note:

I promise the rest of Trent's story will be waaay more sexy and upbeat! I recently got a request (actually I have two now!) to make a transman character, which I sort of did last chapter but I wanted him to be a main character. I hope Trent's story delivers!

A real quick note; obviously, not all transmen do hormones or surgeries or workouts, and no one should feel obligated to uphold some type of "Perfect Man" crap (which will hopefully be clear in the next chapters). But, I'm sure all of us feel insecure at times, and insecurity can really get bad during tense times like coming out or breakups. Trent will get a confidence boost in the next chapters :)