ghosts ~ raven potter x draco malfoy

chapter fifteen: siriusly sleep deprived

   TW: blood, self harm, sensitive topics.

    "Raven you look like hell." Harry said, as his brother rubbed his eyes and yawned.

      "Maybe I just got back." Raven joked, slipping his bag off his shoulder and setting it by a tree. They were back in Hagrid's class again. Raven hadn't seen his blonde friend show up since he gloated at Buckbeak, and the hippogriff had injured him. The Slytherin Potter had laughed at Draco, for being a stupid arse. To which the Malfoy didn't take very lightly.

     "Hey cheer up Raven, today's Halloween." Ron said, elbowing him.

    "Right." Raven fake smiled, and opened up his book, and sitting on the bag he had set down.

    "Hello students! Today we will be learning about the chimera!" Hagrid announced. Raven tuned out pretty quickly as Hagrid lectured, he had already read about the Chimera. It was part lion, part goat, and part snake. Really easy to remember. For Raven at least. The boy had other things on his mind though. Like, working on the spell he'd been working on with his twin, and Professor Lupin. The Patronous. Raven had almost perfected it, but not quite. It was the one spell that didn't come extremely quick to the taller Potter twin.

     "Raven!" Shouted Hermione. Snapping Raven out of his thoughts.

    "Hm?" He hummed, expressionless.

    "Honestly, class is over. We're you even paying attention?" She asked. Raven got up, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

    "Well...I already know what the chimera is. Part lion, part goat, and part snake. Easy really." Raven shrugged. The brightest witch of her year just rolled her eyes at the brightest wizard of his year.

      "Anyway, Harry was trying to tell you to go see Madam Pompfrey." She said, as the four began to walk back towards the castle.

     "Why?" Raven asked, defensively.

     "Because you don't look well." Ron responded.

     "I look fine." Raven retorted, pushing past the two, and his twin who tried to stop him. But Harry was ignored by Raven as well.

    "What's the bloody matter with him?" Ron asked, nudging Harry and Hermione.

     "I wouldn't know, he barely talks to anyone nowadays, unless it's about spells, potions, or books." Harry said, shrugging.

   •  •  •

    Raven didn't go to lunch. Why should he bother? He wasn't hungry anyways. He tossed his bag onto the floor next to his bed, and decided to take a shower. He grabbed some clean clothes and took his school robes with him, and headed into the bathroom. He turned the water on, locking the door behind him. He had the water turned all the way to cold, and began to strip.

     Raven had lost quite a bit of weight, causing his spine to appear to be popping out of his back. His arms that were once muscular, now showed more of his shoulder blades rather than his skin and muscles.

   He got into the cold shower, not even slightly phased by the temperature as the ice cold water hit his body. He stood there for a while, allowing the water to soak himself as his skin tinted a slight purple color. Giving it a bruised look. The cold water on his nose caused him to sniff, accidently inhaling the water.

    "Fuck." Raven cursed grabbing his nose and attempting to blow the water out. Annoyed, he gripped his hair. Feeling the water run through it, and squirting some shampoo into it.

    He scrubbed his scalp with a scowl on his face, as anger plagued him. He conditioned his hair, and then reached for the soap but noticed a small razor with a black handle on it. Ravens eyes diverted from it, and grabbed the soap, beginning to wash himself.

    When he was done however, he put back the soap. Seeing the razor again. He let his anger control his actions, and gripped the razor in his left hand. Causing it to shake. It had been a while since he had gotten into the shower, and the temperature was finally affecting him. His teeth chattered slightly.

    'The blood will make it warm.' a voice in his head said. Raven pressed the cold metal edge of the razor onto his arm. The tender skin near his elbow. He was angry with himself, and with most other people for that matter.

   'Evil twin.' echoed in his head. From second year. That was probably the worst year he'd had at hogwarts yet, and he hoped it would stay that way. Maybe it would get better from now on.

   He remembered the words of everyone at school, how they had thought he was the heir of slytherin. That he was hurting people. Killing people.

    He dragged the blade in his hand, up his arm. Causing two deep thick red lines to appear on his arm.

    Raven sucked his teeth in pain, but the feeling he got from the cold water hitting the cuts on his arm felt extremely good to him. He watched the blood rush from his arm, and with the water down the drain. He turned the water off, and got out of the shower. Drying off with a towel. The blood from his arm didn't stop however, causing Raven to panic.

   "Shit shit shit." He cursed under his breath, trying to squeeze his arm to stop the blood. But his efforts were meaningless. The blood covered his hands and the towel he was holding. He rushed over to the sink and opened the cabinet underneath. There was an emergency med kit under there, and he opened it.

    He quickly pulled out bandages, gauze, and whatever else he thought he might need to stop the blood.

    He wrapped his arm up tightly, slightly causing a lack of circulation in his arm. But the grip it had on his arm was enough for Raven to not loosen it. He pulled the white shirt over his head,  and put on the rest of his uniform. Tying the Slytherin tie loosely around his neck, and simply carrying his cloak along with him as he prepared for his next class.