Let me love you

Chapter 27

I move further down the aisle, looking for the medium and large-sized canvases. I came as early as I could to the art supply shop in the city centre looking to get supplies for Ian. I already grabbed every available acrylic colour they had, and an acrylic varnished to go on top.

Hmm, how many canvases should I get? I think to myself as I push my lips to the side. 

I don't know how often he paints or how long does it takes him to finish one so, I'll grab three of each two sizes and when he fills them, we can just grab more.

Yeah, that's a good plan.

I go to the tilt and pay the cashier, picking up the two full bags before walking back home. I go back to my room once I arrive and search around for a piece of paper that I can write on. Once I find one, I pick up my pen and write: "Don't worry about your paintings -C xx"

I slip the paper into one of the bags and grab them in one hand before carefully hopping onto his balcony. I place the bags down and tap softly on the glass with my knuckle waiting for a few seconds without getting any response. 

I look inside his room as best as I could, but I don't spot him anywhere.

He might be in his connected bathroom. I turn around to hop over to my balcony again but stop mid through as I hear the door open.

I turn my head around, seeing Ian eyeing the bag before eyeing me. I slowly place my leg back down and turn my whole body towards him.

"What's this?" He asks, picking one of the bags and peaking inside.

"A gift for you, " I say, tucking some strands of hair behind my ear.

He looks inside the bags with wide eyes and mouth agape.

"Chloe you didn't have to, " I shush him up by placing my index finger on his lips.

"I did it because I wanted to, not because I felt like I needed to and don't think about paying me back. See this as an early Christmas gift!" I say, removing my finger from his mouth to let him speak.

"I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me Chloe, " he looks troubled as he says that.

"What's on your mind?" I ask, leaning back on the fence.

"You've given me so much and I don't feel like I'm giving you anything in return and that bothers me. I wish that I could give you more, " he turns his gaze at me, putting the bags down.

"Ian, I don't think you realize that you've already given me something that money can't buy," I say, watching how his eyebrow twitches up for a second. 

"You've given me a genuine friendship. You've allowed me to get to know you better. You open up to me. You showed me your world. You trusted me enough to show me something so intimate to you. I've created so many fun memories with you. You've already given me enough, you don't need to give me anything else."

Looking at him now I realize that I'm not just attracted to him.

I'm slowly starting to like him romantically and I don't think I can stop it. I'm ready to go to the ends of the world for him even if he didn't ask me to. I found myself putting his happiness as a priority in my life. Seeing him be so joyful is making me happy so, I guess I'm benefiting too by doing that.

I don't know what I'm going to do about it though.

I don't think Ian sees me in that way purely because I think that this is the last thing, he would be looking for right now. I think a relationship would just make things even more complicated for him. He has a lot on his plate to deal with and even if he did like me, I don't think he would realize it. 

You can't always understand what you're feeling, especially if you haven't experienced those feelings before.

I'm ready to bury my feelings if it meant staying friends with him forever. I think is a risk wanting to cross the line from the friend zone that you're in, to the lover's zone.

Ugh! I'm thinking too much into it too early.

I'm just now starting to think of him romantically, so maybe this likeness would never turn into anything deeper than that, so it'll just fade away over time.

"Is being friends with me so valuable to you that you'll spend all your energy, time and now even money on me?" He asks me, staring flabbergasted.

"Is it not for you?" I ask him, furrowing my eyebrows, my head slightly tilting to the side.

"Of course, it is! You helped me meet new people and potentially make new friends, which was always difficult for me to do so on my own. You help me come out of my shell and go out of my comfort zone. You're not the only one that created memories with me in them. I hold all those close to my heart too, they are all experiences that I'll cherish for the rest of my life probably, " he says, taking a few steps closer to me.

"Then why do you ask questions you already know the answer to?" I shake my head, looking at him as he stands only a few centimetres away from me.

"I guess some things, sometimes are hard for me to comprehend and need that reassurance that what I'm thinking is the right thing, " he says, placing his hands on either side of me, trapping me between him and the fence.

"Never think even for a second from now on that our friendship maybe doesn't mean much to me. Just because I already had friends that I've known for years before meeting you doesn't mean that my friendships with them are any more important than ours, okay? Besides, you might be better friends with someone you've known for 3 years instead of with someone you've known for 12 years. It's all about the connection between the two, not how long you've known someone," I raise an eyebrow, hoping that I erased any doubts he had in his mind.

"Okay, you're right. Now I know so, I'll never have doubts again about our friendship. Thank you, Chloe, " he says, leaning down and wrapping his arms around me.

I wrap my arms around his upper waist, running soothing circles on his back with my thumbs.

"Thank you too, Ian, and don't worry about your paintings cause I'll keep your world safe."

I don't need to tell him why, he probably already knows the majority of the reasons.

The only one he doesn't know is the one that I might never tell him. 

A/N

Someone seems to be catching deeper feelings...👀

Do you think is a risk to cross the line between friends and lovers?

Would you take that risk, if you like someone?

Or

Would you bury your feelings?

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll see you on Friday for the next one!

Feel free to comment & vote ❤️

Have a nice day/night! Xx

All the love - M ❤️