Let me love you

Chapter 38

"So, what's going on with you, Eddie?" I ask. 

We all sit next to each other on the floor of my bedroom, having our backs resting on the bed.

I agreed beforehand with Frankie that we'll ask Eddie about yesterday but the first hour he was here we couldn't seem to find the right way to bring it up that's why I decided to just throw it out there already. 

"This is about yesterday, isn't it?" He asks, not bothering to play dumb.

"Yeah, what's really going on with you and Felix?" Frankie says.

"Nothing is going on, we just..." he seems stressed and can't even form a sentence.

"Is our question making you so uncomfortable?" I ask not expecting this reaction from him.

"Can you guys promise that you won't change the way you act around me if I tell you?" He sits straighter and grabs a decorative pillow from the bed, holding it in his lap.

"Why would we change our ways? Unless you killed someone then I don't see a reason for us to change our behaviour, " Frankie says, chuckling.

"I think I'm bisexual, " Eddie finally spills the truth about what's bothering him.

"Okay and?" I say still confused as to why he found it so difficult to say that to us.

"That was it?" Frankie asks, in disbelief and lays down on the floor.

"Why are you guys acting so cool about it?" He says, shifting his gaze between us.

We both throw him a, really, look before rolling our eyes.  

"Oh, I don't know maybe because that's cool?" Frankie says, shrugging.

"Wait, did you really think that we wouldn't like that?" I say, raising an eyebrow and chuckling.

"I knew you guys weren't like that but still a small piece of me was holding back you know. It's still not seemed as normal in our society and I just, I don't know I was sceptic, " he says, fiddling with the corner of the pillow.

"You know we'll still love you no matter what right? This changes nothing, quite literally, " I say putting my arm around his shoulders and bringing him to my side.

"I know, I'm really lucky to have friends like you guys, " he says, letting out a big sigh as if a weight was lifted off his shoulders.

"How long have you thought or known about it?" Frankie asks, sitting back up again but this time he leans his head on Eddie's shoulder.

"I question it a couple of times, especially in my teens. The first time that I really thought about it though is actually, before I tell you, promise me that you'll forget what I'm about to say two minutes after I say it okay?" He looks at both of us, as we nod in agreement.

"Okay, it was with you, Ian. I fancied you at some point and that made me really think about my sexuality. At some points, I thought that maybe I was gay but then I still really liked girls, so then I was like okay, so am I straight, but then I slowly started realizing that I'm probably bi, " now these words knock the air out of me for a second. 

"Felix really helped me a lot with just accepting it and he understands me on a different level, so we started talking more and more and at some point, that turned into flirting and then he asked me on a date, " he says, keeping his gaze on the floor the entire time.

"Wow, that's a lot to take in, " I say.

I would've never guessed that Eddie at some point in our friendship thought of me as something more than that. 

"You have to forget about what I told you okay, you both promised, " he says with a slightly shaky voice.

"Forget what?" I ask, removing my hand from around him and leaning forward so I could see his face better.

"You know when I told you guys about that, " he says, fidgeting in his seat.

"Well, I don't remember what you're talking about do you remember anything, Frankie?" I ask, throwing a glance at Frankie that's smiling.

"Nope, I have no clue what he's talking about either, " he says, slapping Eddie's shoulder.

"You guys are the best, " he says, smiling at us.

"We know, " Frankie says, making all of us laugh.

"So, onto the next person, we need to interrogate Ian, buddy what's going on with you and Chloe?" I sit more upright when Frankie says that to me.

"What are you guys talking about?" I say, chuckling.

"Oh, no dude, you're not getting off the hook that easily so start spilling, " Eddie says, turning to look at me.

"There is literally nothing going on with me and Chloe, we're just friends!" I say, shaking my head.

"But do you see her only as just a friend, Ian?" Eddie asks, raising an eyebrow.

"What makes you think I'm seeing her differently?" I throw a question back at him.

"Look, you're able to fool everyone else because you know how to hide your emotions well. They can't figure jack shit about you unless you let them which you don't. We've been your best mates for years and the only emotions we saw from you up until now were emptiness, anger and sadness. So, when a new emotion is being portrayed on your face, we can easily spot it. Your smiling, laughing, you actually seem happy sometimes and all of that came after you met Chloe, " he says.

"Plus, yesterday when Chloe was dared to kiss Jacob you looked away looking bothered. If you only truly saw her as a friend, they're no reason for you to get angry for her kissing a guy," Frankie adds coming to sit in front of me.

I let out a sigh and tilt my head back, staring at my ceiling.

"I have some feelings that aren't exactly friendly. I'm attracted to her but that doesn't change anything, " I say, leaning back on the bed and playing with my rings.

"It can change things if you let it, " Frankie says.

"I'm not going to risk destroying my friendship with her over that, " I say scoffing.

"You deserve love too Ian, " Eddie says frowning.

"Love and I don't go well together you guys should know that by now, " I say.

"That's because you never had the chance at that before but now you do. Don't you want to feel loved? Don't you want to be in a relationship with someone? Don't you want to have sex?" Eddie starts, spewing questions.

"I don't have a chance at that now either, she's my friend, not a random girl that made it clear that she's interested in me. I don't want to make things awkward between us just because I'm attracted to her. Is not like I'm in love with her, I'm far away from feeling that way towards her. Not that I would really know anyway how that would feel like. I lived the first 19 years without love, is not like I had it and I'll miss it now. I can live without it for a couple more years, " after I let out these words neither of them talks.

What can they even say to that?

Love wasn't made for me.

A/N

What do you think about Eddie's reveal? 🏳️‍🌈

Have you ever been in love with someone? If yes, how does it feel?

I hope you like this chapter and stay tuned for tomorrow's one because someone is getting a small taste of heaven...👀🔥

Feel free to comment & vote ❤️

I hope you have a great weekend! Xx

All the love - M ❤️