ℂ𝕒𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 ℕ𝕖𝕠𝕟 𝔾𝕝𝕠𝕨 ➃

4. Stupid Decisions - ✭ Monica ✭

I watch his tall frame walk away, his large and tatted arms still on full display. Once he's out of view I stare down at my phone. His name and number just sitting there, staring me right in the face. Boston. How crazy is it that the one person I'd been drawn to since I've been here was named after my home. Kismet. Maybe it's just like he'd said.

Or maybe I'm just going insane? That sounds more like it.

I turn around and go up the stairs, shaking my head at myself the entire time. Why am I really even considering his proposal? Because clearly I've lost all of my sense. Only someone completely mental would consider going on a road trip with a stranger. That they met on a bench. Not even twenty-four hours ago.

It's probably just the slight buzz I have going on and nothing more. Yeah. Let's go with that.

I reach my room and am thankful there's no purple hair-tie on the door nob. Marcella looks up from her laptop, seemingly shocked, upon my entering. "You're back early. I thought you'd be spending the night with your frat house lover-boy. Doing the walk of shame in the morning and all." She wriggles her brow.

"Yeah, not so much." She frowns at that. I slip out of my shoes adding, "Carter and I got into a little spat. We've had them before. It's nothing really."

"Well, I assumed something happened. You've only been gone an hour." She studies me a bit more. "But it doesn't look like it's nothing and I would think nothing wouldn't have you back here already."

"It's not nothing I guess. Like I said, we've had the argument before. Well, it's never really been an argument, just a conversation. I thought we were on the same page. But I guess not. I think he expects more from me than I am willing to give him right now." I take a seat on my bed, directly across from Marcella, letting out a little frustrated huff as I do. "I just don't know what to do about it."

"What exactly does he want you to give?" She closes her laptop and sets it aside, giving me her full attention. 

"We've been together for three years and we've never done it." Her brows shoot up in surprise. "I know. I know. I'm nearly nineteen and never been laid. It's weird in this day and age."

"I mean, it's surprising but not uncommon."

"Why is it surprising?"

"Girl, have you seen yourself? You're fucking beautiful." I blush at her statement. "I'd be trying to get into your pants too if I was your boyfriend or if we were both single." She gives me a wink. Oh okay then. "I'm just surprised that after being with him for three years you still haven't given it up. Horny teenage hormones and all."

"Yeah, I know. I'm depriving him or whatever. It's been something I've felt guilty about for a while. My friends always joke with me about it. They're surprised he's still with me, Carter being Carter and all. But I just haven't been ready. There hasn't ever been that moment where I'm like 'I just want to do it so bad'. Like, it's never felt right."

"So, you're telling me the boy hasn't been able to turn you on? Get you wet?" My cheeks feel like they're set on fire. "Ooo, girl, you really are a little innocent bean, aren't you?" I laugh at her words feeling a slight embarrassment flow through me. "Seriously though, he doesn't get you all hot and bothered?"

"No, he has." I ponder it for a moment. "I guess it's just never been to the point where I want to give it up."

"Then why are you with him?"

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is, if he isn't doing it for you then why do you stay with him?" She implores further with, "like, your man should be able to get you wet and to the point you want to do it. Sex shouldn't feel like an obligation. If he doesn't do it for you then maybe he isn't the one for you." My mind immediately thinks of the dark-haired stranger with tattoos; Boston. What is wrong with me?

"I've never really thought about it like that. I've just been with Carter for so long. I'd feel bad if he wasn't my first."

"You'd feel bad?" She snorts out an indignant laugh. "Girl, you don't owe the boy your virginity just because you've held out for three years. He has a hand. He can take care of himself just fine. Don't let anyone pressure you into doing something you're not ready or want to do."

"I know. It's just I'm wondering if I will ever feel that way with Carter." Especially after what he pulled tonight. I lay back on my bed and close my eyes. Behind the lids I see Boston's dark hair and matching eyes. The subtle scruff that adorns his face. "I met a guy." I blurted out unexpectedly.

"At the party?"

"Yes and no." I roll over and open my eyes again. "I met him last night briefly."

"Is he cute?" The warmth at imagining him had made me feel that yes, I find him much more than cute.

"Yeah, he's attractive. He uhm... He wants me to go on a road trip with him."

"Uh what?" She lets out an indignant noise. "You just met the guy."

"I know but..." I don't say anything as I mentally ponder the pros and cons.

"Woah. You're actually considering this?"

"What?" I turn my head to look at her and she's analyzing me.

"You're seriously thinking about going with him?"

"No, that would be crazy... wouldn't it?"

"Uh just a tad, girl. You go from 'not wanting to give it up to your boyfriend' level of cautious to throwing everything up in the air to go off on a road trip with a sexy stranger? One you just met?"

"Okay when you say it like that it sounds nuts."

"So he is sexy then."

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to."

✩✩✩

I'd never been one to do stupid things because I am the farthest thing from stupid. My academic scholarship is proof of that, which Marcella had made a point of saying I could lose if I was absent for too long. It would be stupid for me to give that up, to make that choice.

After a night of tossing and turning two am came around. I sent Boston a text. One that I knew I shouldn't have. I made that stupid decision and he'd immediately given me the time to make more stupid decisions. Which is why I'm currently packing a duffel bag full of clothes at six o'clock in the morning. 

"So, you're really doing it?" I freeze at Marcella's words. "You're taking off with a complete stranger?" I don't say anything to that, I just zip up the bag and throw it over my shoulder. "At least give me my your number so I can live vicariously through you. Although, if you're not having crazy sex with your hot stranger by the end of this whole thing I'm going to be disappointed."

"Marcella!"

"What?" I turn around and eye her now-sitting self.

"I'm with Carter."

"Not if you go through with this."

No. She's right. Not if I go through with this.

A/N:
Better late than never.
Hope you're all doing well. Have a great weekend!