Tw:mental breakdown. Self criticism, self harm. Drugs/alcohol. Suicide attempt.
Backstory: you have a mental break down and try to commit suicide when gee finds you.
Your pov.
You looked up in your bathroom mirror. You felt empty. Not sad, mad, just pure emptiness.
You picked up the blade you had laid on the counter and sliced it over your thighs multiple times
Fat
Ugly
Reject
Never good enough
Whore
Emo
Slut
Stupid
Waste of space
Everything ran through your head as you took a huge drink of the vodka next to you. You had stole it from your parents a couple of months ago.
You felt tears stream down your face as you began punching the mirror shattering it into many pieces as some of the glass went into your fist.
He doesn't love you anymore. He never did
Repeated in my head over and over. You took a few more drinks of the alcohol as you grabbed a small pill bottle.
You opened it with a struggle but finally getting them open you didn't realize Gerard was home.
You chugged the last of the vodka and popped a handful of the antidepressants.
"I love you gee.." everything went black
You woke up in a very cold white room. You were in so much pain. From your thigh burning, head aching, stomach upset. You started to slowly remember everything as you looked around the room. "Y/n!" You heard a very quiet voice say my name. You saw Gee. He looked like a mess. "What were you thinking.." he said with tears streaming down his face. You couldn't talk as you began sobbing as he came over and hugged you.
*small time skip*
You both had just cried your heart out. You felt a little dizzy from losing breathe but gee helped you breathe. The doctor knocked on the door. "Mx l/n?" You looked up.
*2 weeks later*
Gerard was basically on top of you cuddling you when you felt a huge wave of anxiety rush over you.
"G-gee..?" He snores softly as he didn't answer. You slid him off of you not waking up and went to the kitchen. You texted Ray "hey you know I love you guys right?" You sent pretty fast. As you got an instant reply."aye what's wrong don't do anything what's happening?" I could tell I just worried him. "Shit i didn't mean to worry you it's just I felt terrible.. I fucked up gee. He's been drinking Ray.. it's my fault." You out your phone down as tears streamed down your face. Your killing him y/n your thoughts spat through your head. You grabbed all the alcohol in the house and poured it down the drain. You went outside to throw the bottles away when you felt yourself get pulled into a huge hug. "Y/n I'm worried about you.." Ray's soft voice spoke out. "Ray it's all my fault. He's not happy anymore. He's to busy worrying about me. He hasn't wrote any lyrics or drawn anything. He's just been drinking, sleeping, barley eating and just watching me. I fucked him up!" You yelled into his chest as you broke down again.
He rubbed your back as you quietly bawled into his chest.
You heard the door open as you saw a drunk Gerard stumble through the door. "Where's the vodka babe?" You felt anger rush through you. "We are sobering up I'm tired of us drinking.." you said as you walked closer to him as Ray slowly observed you both.
*5 years later*
You sat on the couch with your husband Gerard. They had just released the teaser video 'the summoning'
You smiled down at him as he was on your lap. "Geee" you whined his name. "Yes babe?" He looked up from his phone. "I love you so much you know what right?" He smiled and rubbed your sides. "Shut up and kiss me loser" he kissed you passionately as you kissed back. You both soon fell asleep in each others arms.
This was kind of a relieve chapter sorry:/.
Also if you are feeling down, depressed, suicidal or anything feel free to text me. No one suffers alone. I love you
<3
