Infatuated (hsau)

chapter 25.

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Tough girl, I'm in pain
It's lonely at the top, black outs and airplanes
And I still pour you a glass, of champagne
Tough girl whose soul aches
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Harlow Dean

Winner gets me?

Is that some sort of sick joke? Judging by the look on his face it's not, and he had the audacity to tell me not to overreact? I'll show him overreacting. I'll try to anyway, I din't like being mean...actually no, he deserves it,

"What the fuck?" I exclaim, not even caring in the slightest about the sad, worried expression in his face.

This man has just gambled on me like I'm an object, does he know how dehumanising that is? It's sick, it's so ducking weird and I'm not okay with it. He didn't even ask, I wonder if the thought even crossed his mind once. Surely the first thing you do before you place bets on someone is ask the person first?

I am livid.

"You said you wouldn't-"

"I never said shit!" I interrupt a little louder than I expected, shocking Harry.

It wouldn't be half as bad if I actually liked The Vultures, but my fucking emotionally abusive ex is now one of them. They lose this fight and I'm right back there with him. I can't do that, once that happens it's over, everything's over.

What the fuck does he mean the winner gets me? Does he start holding me in captivity now? When he loses this fight do I get given to The Vultures like I'm some groceries for them to use how they like? I don't think he realises how sick this is. I keep waiting for him to laugh and say it's all a big joke, but he doesn't, and I don't think he's going to either.

"Harlow let me-"

"Let you what? Explain? Explain what? That you-"

"Birdy stop-"

I swear to god if he doesn't let me speak I'll have him hanging by the balls.

"Don't birdy me. You can't sign me up for things like that without fucking telling me Harry! My fucking-"

"Harlow listen for-"

"No. You listen to me, you pillock." I shout back forcefully.

Pillock? Really? Out of every insult under the sun I chose pillock? God fucking help me.

At least now he shut up and stopped trying to interrupt me. Unfortunately it wasn't because I'm so intimidating and scary, it was because of my word choice but I'll just pretend I scared him into being quiet for my own satisfaction and ego.

Now he's shut up I'm at a loss for words. There's fear, fury, anxiety, hatred and maybe every other negative emotion flowing through my veins right now, halting my thought process. It's one thing to do this to a normal person, but to a mentally unstable bitch - Jesus Harry are you trying to kill me?

It almost hurts, this time last night we were probably sitting at the bar sharing smiles and laughter. I was probably making him a cocktail I spontaneously invented and a few minutes later we'd be sitting here with our lips interlocked. At this point that was nothing but a fever dream.

It just confirms that it happened purely because he was drunk and I know it was just a kiss, I know it's meaningless to everyone but I hadn't kissed anyone in forever until last night. The fact it was just a drunk kiss to him is something that has my heart sinking slightly, because it meant so little that not even a few hours after I told him I was scared of intimacy he went and placed a bet on me.