Infatuated (hsau)

chapter 26.

°°
Fooling myself dry
You're like no other
Puts myself for some amnesia to keep me in line
Why do I fall in love
With the least bit of attention
I need some direction, affection in time
°°

Harlow Dean

Before I knew it I had my hands hooked round his neck as he coaxed his hands round to my lower back, pulling me in closer to him and eventually onto his lap straddling him. When he sensed the sudden worry I had coursing through my veins he pulled back from the kiss and let his hand travel up my back to my face.

"Kissing you feels like a drug." His quiet, gentle voice speaks out, sending waves of butterflies crashing through me.

He really hit the nail on the head with that one. I don't even do drugs but he makes me do crazy things so maybe Harry is a drug.

I didn't know how to respond, nobody's ever said things like that to me and I can't tell whether it's even good or bad. Regardless I found myself smiling, leaning back into kiss him and the second our lips collided a fire ignited in the pit of my stomach, sending sparks flying.

I hated him. I hated him for his sarcastic remarks and constant smirk and yet here I am enjoying the way his lips taste with my hands running through his soft brown hair. I could feel his cold rings through the material of my dress on my hips, causing a weird contrast between our heated moment and his cold hands against my hips that feels undeniably good.

His tongue teases its way into my mouth, followed by a slight groan as our tongues begin to intertwine. This is a dangerous game we're playing, a dangerous game I seem to be unable to step back from.

When his strong hands gripped my hips that little bit tighter I felt my hand pulling on the roots of his hair ever so slightly. His hands guided my hips to move backwards and forward slowly and the heat of the moment began to increase. Before I knew it my hips were grinding on their own, slowly and cautiously because I'm still wary and unsure of this whole intimacy thing.

God forbid I have another panic attack.

"Jesus Harlow you're driving me fucking insane." Harry pants, pulling back from the kiss and resting his head against my collar bone.

Ditto.

"Sorry," I awkwardly respond.

"Don't apologise. Never apologise to me birdy, never." Harry mumbles, forehead still against the skin at the base of my neck.

You don't have to tell me twice, the psychopath placed a bet on me.

Apparently that doesn't matter to whatever part of my body controls my attraction towards people because here I am sitting in the lap of the guy who told a full on gang that they can keep me if they win a fight.

"God Harlow there's so much I want to do with you right now." He says, looking up at me through his dark brows. "But not now. I can't, I don't want to rush things with you."

There's so much to dissect from that statement.

Does he think we're gonna be doing this for a while? As in...kissing each other? I don't understand. If he doesn't want to rush then why is he doing this? He seems to eat sleep and breathe sex, I don't see why I'd make an exception.