Infatuated (hsau)

chapter 52.

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Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused
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Harry Styles

Harlow had to rush home to feed her cat so unfortunately I couldn't spend the day with her like I'd have liked to. She seemed a little chirpier by the time she left so I felt a little better about her going home to spend the day on her own.

I was worried about her, I am worried about her but I listened to what she said and I'm sure me fussing over her is the last thing she needs. So I let her go home and promised to call her later because my Sunday was to be spent driving round the city with Liam.

Even doing that I'm still stuck thinking about Harlow and all the shit she's had to experience in her 24 years of life.

The part that really got me was hearing her talk about how badly she wanted to have a family and then her saying she'll pretty much never get the chance. That broke me a little.

I can't imagine how that feels. I mean as a man I don't really feel like I'll ever be able to understand but jesus, I've never really thought about having kids but if someone told me I'd never be able to I'd definitely be a little upset, I think anyone would. Hearing that she dreamt of having children really is heartbreaking though, it must be awful to come to terms with.

Imagine dreaming your whole life for something only to find out you'll never be given the chance to fulfil that dream.

When she told me that all I wanted to do was hug her, even then it didn't feel like it was enough. She's been through so much it's truly devastating, and the worst part is she always seems to blame herself.

"You're daydreaming again." Liams says, snapping his fingers in front of my face.

"Huh?"

"Dreaming about Harlow were you?" He chuckles.

"Piss of you dick." I shoot back, sitting myself up properly in his passenger seat.

I hate when Liam drives, but he got a new car so wanted to take me out in it. Fuck knows why he's not driving about with Josie right now but judging by the suffocating smell of girls perfume and the red thing in the back, I'm guessing they've already tested it out.

They better have kept it in the back because I swear to god if I'm sitting in the seat they did the hanky panky in I'll flip.

"No club tonight?" He asks.

"When have we ever gone out on a Sunday?" I bluntly respond.

It's weird how I always feel so happy and just like someone who isn't a gang leader in front of Harlow, because my default response to everything is being a dick, I can't help it. I used to be a dick to Harlow but something has made me change and now I'm like a completely different person around her, it's weird.

To be honest, my idea of being nice and hers are probably two different things. She probably still thinks I'm a massive twat, I'm not very good at this whole kindness thing.

I hope I did okay when she was sad this morning, I didn't even think about it so I hope she doesn't think I was a dick.

"Do you love Josie?" I ask out of curiosity.

Why the fuck is he listening to rap music? My ears are bleeding.

He's trying to be cool, trying to seem like the guy who only listens to music about sex and money. I've been on his phone plenty of times before, I've seen the Spice Girls and ABBA in his playlists.