Infatuated (hsau)

chapter 59.

°°
Sweet creature
Had another talk about where it's going wrong
But we're still young
We don't know where we're going
But we know where we belong
°°

This will come in handy for the second half of this chapter^^

Harlow Dean

Harry sat himself down on the couch and let out sigh as he did so. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do in this situation due to how cold he was just minutes prior to this, so I sat one of the chairs in front of my desk and picked away at the skin around my nails in the hopes one of us would find the words to say to break this awful silence.

I feel so helpless right now because it feels like I can't do anything. I've never shown up to work like this before and I probably shouldn't have come, not when I'm feeling so awful I was hoping I'd manage to force myself back into happiness.

That didn't seem to be the case though, it still feels like the world is closing in around me and I don't think anybody really understands either. Harry will think this was all because of him and it' not, I don't know why I've fallen into this dark hole, but I have and it feels like I'll spend the rest of my life trying to climb out.

"You're not doing well, are you?" He asks, finally cutting into the silence that felt like it was driving an even bigger wedge between us.

Those words caught me off guard, it was the last thing I expected him to say and for some reason it made me nervous. When his green eyes stared into mine it made it so much easier to tell the lie of me being 'fine', because when I did he just shook his head and stood up from the couch.

My eyes followed him as he stretched his arms above his head, lifting the bottom navy shirt he was wearing out from the waistline of his fitted black pants. He walked over to the window and pressed his forehead against the glass for a brief seconds then wandered back over to the area in front of me.

Unexpectedly he crouched down in front of me and placed his warm hands on my knees. His touch made me flinch slightly at how much of a surprise it was and I could see his tense facial expression fall into one much calmer and relaxed, yet still worried and concerned.

"I'm sorry. I was frustrated and I shouldn't have acted so bitterly towards you." He tells me, looking straight at my face whilst I gaze out to the window displaying nothing but a picture of darkness.

I nod back, smiling slightly so he knows it's fine because I really don't have the strength to argue with anyone right now, especially not Harry.

"Birdy?" He lifts his hand to turn my face back to face him however I keep it facing out the window, unable to look him in the eyes without completely losing it. "Look at me, please birdy c'mon."

I'm so stubborn, therefore I literally fought against his hand trying to turn my head to face him until he gave up and slumped down onto the floor.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have kept those things from-"

"Harry it's not your fault," I interrupt with a sigh. "I've just had a bad day that's all."

Bad days recently have been feeling like weeks.

This is exactly the opposite of what is wanted - Harry blaming himself for the fact I've fallen into this dark place of mine. It's not his fault in the slightest and that's exactly I feel so selfish right now. He opened up about what he's been hiding, he did the right thing and I completely flipped.

"I'm sorry for reacting how I did but it wasn't because of you, I swear I-"

He interrupts me by placing his finger on my chin, this time when Harry tilted my face to face him it came as a surprise so I didn't have the chance to fight it and now I'm staring straight into a pair of pretty green eyes.