Infatuated (hsau)

chapter 36.

°°
It's affection, always
You're gonna see it someday
My attention for you
Even if it's not what you need
°°

Harlow Dean

Last night was the first place my mind wandered when I woke up this morning.

It wasn't just the intimacy that I was thinking about though, it was what came after; the carefulness in the bathroom upstairs, the respect he had for my boundaries and the fact that he didn't even care that he got nothing out of it.

We got upstairs and I cleaned myself up with Harry of course making an appearance to make sure I was okay. Once that was over I was absolutely exhausted and sleep was all I could think of. Harry offered to take the spare bedroom however I remember me shyly telling him it was okay to sleep in my bed.

That was a whole other hurdle of its own. I'm so used to being the only one in bed, Willow being the only exception, and the whole thing made me nervous. Part of my mind was telling me to just agree with him and let him take the spare room but with everything that happened last night, sharing a bed with him should've been the least of my worries.

It wasn't even close to as awkward as I thought it would be. I was a little apprehensive, unsure of what to do with myself and unsure of Harry's boundaries. However the second his arm hooked around my waist and he lay with his front against my back and his hand running through my hair.

It was such a simple gesture, but it was one that numbed every ounce of uneasiness I was feeling.

The silence in the room didn't feel suffocating for once, it felt comfortable and each time Harry would run his fingers through my hair the battle with sleep only grew tougher and tougher.

That was the last I remember until my eyes opened to the sight of a tattooed arm resting over my stomach. Harry was lying there face down in the pillow with one arm stretched out over me.

Somehow he was still breathing despite looking completely suffocated.

The strangest thing is that this morning when I woke up, anxiety didn't slap me across the face. I didn't wake up and panic about the work I have to do today and all the other stupid things I stress about. This time I woke up and felt calm, I felt comforted and I really hate that I did because I probably shouldn't get used to this.

I checked the time and it was only 9AM, meaning Harry would probably still be out for a little while yet. As much as I'd love to have stayed there and take in everything that happened in the last 24 hours, I couldn't.

Which brings me to now, sitting down at the island in my kitchen with an extra strong coffee and that 'Suck It And See' record I forgot I had until last night playing in the background.

Willow jumped up on the counter and finally decided to speak to me, Harry seems to have become her new best friend.

"It's mum's birthday today willow, I need to go and get some flowers from June's shop." I smile, rubbing the top of her head as she nudges it against me.

I don't know why I've been putting off visiting for so long. I guess I've always wanted to go with something good to say and these days I never seem to have anything good happening.

Today is different though, it's her birthday and I can't let it go by. That does me more harm than anything else.

Thankfully June had a bunch of fake flowers already prepared for me to pick up later as well as another bunch of sunflowers for my kitchen. She's the sweetest woman ever, I really do look forward to that time in the week where I get to drop in to pick up some flowers. She's the type of person who just radiates happiness, the type of person I wish I was.