~THIRTY TWO(I)~

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If you hate BTS or kpop in general, then I highly suggest to silently avoid the video above.No negative comment regarding this.

And if you love them,be my guest for fangirling.

~~**~~

Ignorance can't be a bliss everytime now,can it?

I wish I could have just disappeared into thin air.

Every individual dear to me just heard my confession.My ultimate truth.

And I'm completely exposed to my by blood father's enemy,not as any of their dear ones anymore.

Well,it was fated to come out anyday. Truth can't be veiled for a long time.

Releasing a deep breath in surrender,I slowly turned around letting those familiar charcoal orbs eventually clash with my honey orbs after ten years.

We meet again in a new light.

I watched that unreadable gaze flashing with distinct recognition as I continued looking at his face with my now void but bright honey orbs.

But my inside,it's not feeling the same void.It's feeling the crumbling emotions similar to the crumbling of house of cards.

The crumbling to the nothingness.

As if every single moments and feelings we had shared,have crumbled down in a scattered pieces of that house of cards.As if there's no turning back of fixing that house of cards.

And I should have resisted myself more.I should have remained prepared for facing this consequences sooner or later.

And yet,my heart is still reluctant to just let go of those emotions. To accept the end of those moments.

It's unfair to expect him to view me in the same way like he used to do earlier.

Like the day we had our first kiss. Like the day we had our unexpected meet at underground.Like the day we together had our first mission.Like the day he followed me at the Bonanza club for a last gazing.

And finally,like today.In his home at the morning.In the data center here. In the cabin while tending my wounds.

It's wrong to expect those gazes any longer.

I'm not Azaleas Knight anymore.I'm now Azaleas Eleonora Federico.The daughter of that unmentionable flesh who killed his best friend akin brother. Who evilly killed his uncle. Who left his whole family and mother traumatized.Who clearly killed his youth.

And now, who's holding his only and dear sister as a hostage with no surety of returning her back alive.

I may not be involved in his sick deeds.But I sure as hell carry his wicked remembrance.His filthy name.His degraded genes.

And I myself, can't find the courage to meet any of the Ivano's gaze full on knowing what my father did to them.

"You managed to find your way back home."I tonelessly uttered out watching Mr.Ivano's whole expression returning to his signature blank expression.

Just what I had seen in our first visit after ten years,in his office.

Cold and unreadable.

Also,he do remember me from ten years ago.

I haven't remembered much about that bruised teenager.For some days after getting my shelter with papa and Bella,I was actually concerned regarding his safe return to his family.

Eventually,my own concerning issues suppressed the concern regarding him.

Until that day.

The day when he narrated the tragic death incident of Albert Angus and him being kidnapped. When I was hit with a brick of realisation.

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