"You're not alone Y/N. We all have our moments, where we feel alone, scared, unwanted, and unloved. I've been in your shoes, but look at me now, I was able to get through my struggles and if I wouldn't have, I would have never met you."
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
TW: TALKS ABOUT SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, DEATH, ADDICTION, ANXIETY, PANIC ATTACKS, AND DRUG ABUSE
THIS IS GOING TO BE AN EMOTIONAL CHAPTER, SO GET YOUR TISSUES READY. _____________________
"I lied." You say through a sob.
"About what?" Spencer asks as he runs his fingers through your hair.
"You know when we went out on our first date, you had asked me if I had any siblings and I told you that I didn't."
He hums in response and you know he remembers, so you continue.
"I had a sister. She died six years ago. Spence she was only sixteen when she passed. My parents blame me to this day about her death-." You stop and put your hand over your mouth to muffle your sobs.
Spencer doesn't say anything just leans forward to place a kiss to your forehead and holds onto you.
"That day that you came over to pick me up for lunch and my parents were here as well, they wanted me to go home with them because they were hosting a dinner party. My parents are lawyers and they'd always have these parties and before my sister had passed, she was always with them. I never went to any of the dinners. My parents always said that I'd ruin their appearance and make them look bad.
I grew up feeling unwanted by my own parents. I'd always do so good in school, I never did anything wrong, they just didn't want me.
When my sister was born I was 4 and growing up, she was everything I wasn't. She was skinner than I was, looked more like my parents, and they loved her more than me. I'm not saying I hate my sister because I loved her so much.
She was my baby sister."
More tears fall and Spencer comforts you by kissing you and holding onto you the way you've never been held before.
"As I got older, I pushed myself to do better in school and graduate earlier and that still didn't make my parents happy. I got into college, got my bachelors in education, then nursing, started working in a hospital and still they weren't happy.
When my sister passed, I stopped eating, sleeping and started finding different ways to cope and get through the pain.
While I was in college, I started drinking and partying not carrying about anything. I smoked weed with my friends, went to parties, but I was still able to graduate and get a job.
My parents would constantly yell and me and tell me that they wish it was me who would have died instead of Ana. Hearing that from my parents made me feel even more unwanted and that was when I started cutting myself. I have all of these scars because my parents wish it was me instead of Ana.
These are my reminders of how much I was unwanted and unloved." You say as you lift up your wrists and motion down your body to your other scars.
