"You're not alone Y/N. We all have our moments, where we feel alone, scared, unwanted, and unloved. I've been in your shoes, but look at me now, I was able to get through my struggles and if I wouldn't have, I would have never met you."
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09/26/2018 Wednesday
These past five days of being in the hospital with Y/N have been the hardest. It had been five days since the shooting. Five days of her being on a ventilator. Five days of being in the ICU and five days of seeing her in pain.
She would cry day and night from the amount of pain she was in.
Nurses and doctors would come in and check on her, giving her more pain meds, updating me on when they would take her off the ventilator and remove the feeding tube they had inserted the day after her surgery. Almost every hour, nurses would come into her room, to check her oxygen levels, make sure her heart rate was normal, performing x-rays and ultrasounds, changing her stitches, and giving her more fluids and food.
While all of this would take place, I'd make sure to hold Y/N's hand and keep her eyes on mine, so she'd keep her focus on me rather than what was being done to her. Even though she couldn't feel most of what was being done because of the medication she was on, I was still able to notice the worry behind her eyes.
"Just a few more and we will be all done Y/N."
Y/N nods her head slowly, keeping her eyes on mine and gripping onto my hand tightly. "Her wounds are healing very well." The nurse begins to tell us whilst applying gauze over the new stitches she had just applied. "Doctor Rivera will be stopping by in an hour to explain somethings with you." I look up quickly from Y/N to look at the nurse, nodding at her words, then returning my gaze to Y/N. "I will see you both later and in the meantime, why don't you both try and get some rest."
The nurse gathers all of her things, writing things down in Y/N's chart, then leaves the room, closing the door behind her. Once she was gone, I take a seat in the chair besides Y/N and lift my hand, using my thumb to wipe some of the tears that had fallen. "You're ok."
Y/N lifts her hand, placing it above mine that is still resting on the side of her face. She begins to very softly caresses the back of my hand, something she has been doing to calm herself down. I smile weakly as she does this. "Get some rest my love."
She nods, then points at me, along with putting two fingers up. 'You too.'
"I will, ok. I'm gonna sleep on the couch." I tell her, standing up from the chair, hovering over her and placing a kiss to her forehead. Once I pull away, I pull her blankets up to cover her, fix her pillow, then walk over to the couch.
Since we've been here, I haven't had the time to leave the hospital to go home and pick up clothes and things I needed. Not that I wanted to, because I didn't want to leave Y/N alone, so Penelope and Derek went to the apartment grabbing some of my things they thought I would need, which I appreciate. They brought over my pillow along with some blankets, books, clothes, and toiletries. The team and Desiree would stop by every morning and visit Y/N and sometimes before visiting hours were over to drop off food.
