Without Her

Chapter 8 - Just Breathe

"McKendrick!" Jac shouts as she is walking down one of Darwin's corridors, "I need you scrubbed up in ten minutes."

"But I'm busy." Nicky says, typing on a computer.

"I don't care, ten minutes." Jac says, walking away.

After ten minutes Jac enters the operating theatre, she stands and freezes yet again.

"Miss Naylor?" Nicky says, walking towards her.

Jac looks up at Nicky "I can't do this, get Mr Madani he'll help you." She says, as she rushes out of the theatre.

She heads back to her office, and sits at her desk.

Kian rushes in "Hey, what's wrong?"

"It's too early, I'm not ready." She says, standing up and pacing around the room.

"Yes you are, you just need to dip your toes in the water." Kian says, trying to be supportive.

"I should go home." Jac says, rubbing the top of her head as she starts to shake.

"If you go back home, you won't come back will you?" He replies, putting his hands on her shoulders.

Jac then starts to panic, and her breathing gets worse.

"Jac, I need you to look at me and focus." He says, looking into her eyes.

She looks away, "No! Look at me." He says.

"That's it, keep your focus now." He smiles, "Now just breathe with me."

Jac does as she is told, and she calms - her body stops shaking.

She falls into his arms, and they hug.

"I know he's in prison, I know." She sighs, still being held up by Kian "But I can't shake this feeling, the feeling that every noise, sound is him coming to get me."

"And that I'll wake up to find you dead or gone, and him in your place."

"That won't happen." He says, stroking the top of her head.

"And I can't sleep at night, he haunts me in my nightmares." She says "The blood, and everything."

"If I close my eyes, it's all I see." She says, nuzzling into his chest.

"Right, I'm going to take you home." He says, taking her coat and passing it to her.

The coat drops to the floor though, along with Jac.

He walks over to her and checks her pulse, "It's okay." He says, as he picks her up and walks out onto the Ward "I need some help, over here!" Kian says, as he lays her on a trolley.

Jac comes around and sees Nicky and Kian staring down at her "What's going on?" She asks, groggily.

"You've exhausted yourself, by not sleeping." Kian sighs, "You really need to sleep, so I'm going to get you some sleeping tablets."

"No, I don't want any tablets." She says, turning on her side.

"Jac I know you are upset and scared, but I need you to let me help you." He says, sitting down in the chair, beside her hospital bed.

She just ignores him, and he gets up and lays on the bed beside her.

Kian starts to stroke her hair, and sing to her.

"What are you doing?" She asks, looking at him disgusted.

"It'll help you sleep." He smiles, as he continues to sing.

Jac slowly turns to face him, and her eyes start to close.

He smiles again as he continues to sing and once she is fully asleep, he puts another blanket on her and stays by her side.

Just then there is knock on the door, and a police officer walks in.

Kian stands up and walks over "Can we talk outside?"

"Yeah." The police officer replies, Jac slowly wakes up and sees Kian talking to him outside.

Kian walks back in, and sits down back next to her.

"Jac." He starts "I have some news." He says, taking her hand and sighing.

"What is it?" She asks, starting to get worried.

"Um, it's news about Clayton." Kian says, "He died around 25 minutes ago."

"From what?" Jac says, trying to get out of bed.

"Jac, I need you to stay in bed okay?" Kian replies "He died from an overdose, nothing to do with you."

Jac suddenly lurches forward, and throws up on Kian's shoes "Oh god, I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He smiles, getting up to go and clean his shoes.

Once Kian has left the room, Jac breaks down - she doesn't know how to feel about anything anymore, let alone this.