Without Her

Chapter 11 - Happiness

"Kian, can we talk?" Jac says, as she sits down at her desk.

"Yeah, sure." He smiles, sitting on the sofa.

"I want to keep, our baby." She says, as she smiles back "I want to do this with you."

Kian gets up and walks over to her, he picks her up and spins her around.

"You probably shouldn't do that to me." Jac laughs.

"Oh yeah." Kian laughs back

Jac hugs into him, and starts to cry "Sorry, I just can't believe everything that's happened this year."

"That's why I was going to take you and Emma, away on a holiday." He smiles, proudly.

"Kian, you know I can't." She sighs, "I have to run the Ward."

"I got some locums in to cover." Kian replies, grabbing her coat "We leave now."

"Jonny is waiting with Emma, midway." He says.

"Where are we going?" She asks, clueless and bored.

"You'll see when we get there." He grins, cheekily.

"Yeah, but wait!" Jac says, as she suddenly stops "I have a scan in half an hour."

"Well we'll go to that first and then go." He replies "I'm sure Jonny can wait for another hour or so."

"Great, now he'll call me an irresponsible parent." Jac sighs, sitting back down.

"No he won't." Kian says "If he does, he'll have me to answer to."

"Thanks." She says, smiling at him.

"You aren't a bad mother Jac, don't let anyone tell you that."

"I feel like one, nobody seems to think I'm maternal at all." She replies "People look at me and they see my personality, and they say 'I hope you haven't got children'."

"And it scares me, that I'll turn out like her."

"Like who?" Kian asks, sitting down at his desk beside her

"Paula, she used to be my mother." Jac sighs, "Well she's dead anyway."

"So she used to be your mother, because she's dead?" Kian asks "Your scared of dying?"

"No I'm scared of waking up one day and thinking 'Let's abandon my kid, so I can go to India'."

"And then come back and find the broken child you left years ago, and take her kidney and run again." She says, getting upset.

"Hey, don't cry." He says, wiping her tears "You won't be your mother, your parents don't define who you are."

"Just promise me one thing." She says standing up.

"Yeah?"

"You won't take drugs again, and if I don't abandon you, you won't abandon me."

"I promise."

Twenty minutes later...

Jac and Kian are waiting outside the midwives room, in maternity.

"We're going to see our baby for the first time." Kian smiles, as Jac lays her head on his shoulder.

"Second time, for me." Jac replies.

"What?" Kian says looking at her.

"I had pain recently, so I checked myself out and baby is fine." She smiles "But I just want to be doubly sure."