Without Her

Chapter 24 - Torment And Blame

Jac stayed sitting in that spot, for twenty four hours - her limbs had frozen and she couldn't move.

Was Kian responsible, for what had happened with Harriet?

"No, he can't be.." she says to herself "But why else, would he run?"

She stands up, and grabs her coat - nothing is stopping her from seeing Harriet, not this time.

She gets into her car, and she arrives at the hospital.

Jac walks into the reception, and makes her way down to paediatrics. Making sure nobody sees her.

She walks into Harriet's room, and up to her crib.

"Hey, little one." She says, stroking Harriet's hand.

"Mummy's here now." Jac says, smiling down at the baby.

She slowly picks Harriet up, and looks down at her "Mummy is going to keep you safe, I promise."

Jac walks out of the room, when Sacha appears.

"Jac?" He says "What are you doing?"

"I'm taking my daughter home, she needs me." Jac says, stroking Harriet's head.

"Jac, she needs to stay here." He replies, trying to get Harriet off of her.

"But I'm her mother, I need to be with her."

"I know you do, I know." He says, as she starts to clearly get upset.

"He's ran again, it was him wasn't it?" She says, trying to keep the tears from rolling down her face.

"Nobody knows what's happened, Jac." Sacha replies "All I know, is that Harriet needs her mum to be brave for her."

"I am." Jac says "I don't want her to go through his alone."

"Okay, give her to me, please." Sacha says sweetly, and Jac slowly passes Harriet to him.

He walks back into the room, and puts Harriet back into the cot.

The nurses and doctors start to reattach, drips and wires.

He walks back out, and she breaks down in his arms "How could he do this?!"

"It's okay, I've got you." Sacha says, holding her tightly.

"I just want her to be safe." She says, fighting through the tears.

"I know, this wasn't your fault."

"It feels like it is, I should of known." She replies "I should of known, not to trust him."

"Well whatever happened that day, please don't blame yourself."

"I have to, I should of seen the signs." She replies, breaking away and sitting on a chair.

She then pulls out the picture of her, Emma and Harriet together.

"Look at us, on the day of discharge." She smiles "We were so, so happy."

"And now Harriet is so ill, and her dad caused the problem?" She says, getting stressed again.

"Why do you think he did it?" Sacha asks, sitting beside her.

"He ran away, Sacha." Jac sighs "When we needed him most, after he got questioned by the police."

"If that doesn't scream guilty to you, then I don't know what does."

A nurse comes out and walks up to them "Miss Naylor, you can come in."

She looks at the nurse surprised "What?"

"You can come in."

Jac walks in, and sits next to Harriet's crib.

"So, we've been doing lots of tests." The doctor says.

"Right?" Jac replies, looking at the doctor and crossing her arms.

"Your daughter wasn't shaken."

"So I got blamed for shaking my baby, for no reason?" Jac says, irritated.

"I'm afraid so."

"So? What's wrong with her?" Jac asks, expectantly.

"She has Bernard-Soulier syndrome."

"What? But it doesn't run in the family." She replies.

"You could be carrying it."

"So, that's what caused the bleed, bruises and that?" She asks, standing up and walking over to Harriet.

"Yeah, she should be fine." The doctor replies "But we need to do a platelet transfusion."

"So if she cuts herself, it'll be pretty bad bleeding?" Jac asks, playing with Harriet's fingers.

"Yeah, probably will need to be treated at the hospital." The doctor replies "But seeming as your a doctor, I'm sure you can."

"But if you get any concerns, bring her in."

"When can she be discharged?" She asks, smiling down at the small baby.

"In the next day or two." The doctor says, as Jac walks out of the room.

She takes out her phone and rings Kian's number and leaves a voicemail.

"I hope you're happy with yourself, leaving me to deal with everything by myself. I seriously hope you rot in hell, and don't come back."

She hangs up, and walks over to Sacha.

"Sacha, nobody shook her." She smiles, "She has Bernard-soulier syndrome."

"She'll be okay then?"

"Yeah, she will." Jac replies, as the two friends hug.

"I hate him, I really do." She says, putting her head on Sacha's shoulder.

"You've said this before." Sacha smiles "Do you really mean it?"

"Yeah I do, he ran away when we needed him." She replies "He ran away, when his daughter was ill."

"As far as I'm concerned, if he returns we won't have anything to do with him."

"Really?" Sacha replies, looking into her eyes.

She doesn't blink or hesitate "Yeah I mean it, if I didn't come back or save him from the mountain. None of this would of happened."

"Yeah but then, you wouldn't have Harriet."

"Well that's true, but I swear if I see him again I'm giving him what he deserves."

"You don't want to give him another chance?"

She turns to look at him, with an angry expression on her face "I've given him so many chances, more than he deserved."

"Not this time, he's a worse father then Jonny and that really is saying something."

"So once Harriet gets out of here, I'm getting Emma back."

"And when I eventually do get her back, it'll just be me, her and Harriet." She says, thinking into her future "And we'll be happy, just us, nobody else."

Jac's heart had been ripped into two again, she wasn't prepared for any of this - she won't let Kian get involved with her or her family again.