How did you change me like that? (LokixReader)

>Chapter 22<

Hewo lovelies! :3
How are you all? I hope you are all very good. Here I am with another long chapter. Please tell me if you are ok with long ones, I want you to enjoy it and not feeling forced <3
Enjoy chapter 22...

Y/n's POV:

I heard shouting coming from the hallway. I opened my eyes and saw the clock. 3:23 am. I got up worried and went out of my room. The noise was coming from Bucky's, Steve's and Sam's bedroom area. What the hell is happening, and how on earth isn't anyone else up?! The shouting is so loud! 

I was walking closer to their area but on my way, I grabbed a vase in case someone is in danger. I needed a way to defend myself. The shouting was getting louder with each step I took. It was coming from Bucky's room. I hold on to the vase even harder and slowly put my hand on the door handle twisting it. Opening the door i slow paced in. I didn't see anyone in the bedroom at first, but then I saw Bucky. The bed sheets had fallen to the floor and he was holding hard on the mattress. He was all sweaty as if he was training for hours and he was shaking.

" Bucky?" I asked shocked and put down the vase. I rushed to his side and kneeled.

" Bucky? BUCKY?! Bucky wake up!" Nothing. He wouldn't listen to me.

I could tell, he wasn't in physical pain. He was having a very bad nightmare. I sat on his bed, putting my hands on his shoulders. I shook him but he wouldn't wake up. He continued shouting but then, it faded away and he started mumbling something...

"Longing, rusted, seventeen, daybreak, furnace..." And his words started fading away.

I was so scared so I continued shaking him and calling out his name and he eventually woke up with a big gasp.  He sat up and took deep breaths. His eyes caught my hand on his thigh and his gaze fell to my face.

" Wh-What happened?" He asked trying to catch his breath.

" Shhh it's ok. You just had a nightmare. I heard shouting and following it, it led me to you. You were holding to the mattress and the bed sheets were thrown to the floor." I asked bringing my hand to his cheek, rubbing my thumb to relax him.

" Did-Did I hurt you?"

" Do I look hurt?" I weakly smiled.

" No...Oh my God I am so sorry I woke you up. I didn't mean to, It's just-"

" Hey, relax. It's nothing, really. What did you see? Do you want to talk about it?"

He hesitated for a moment before nodding. I smiled at him and stood up so that he can sit better and I covered him with the bed sheets.

" Wait a minute..." I said and walked to the kitchen. I grabbed a glass of water and his favourite chocolate.

When I came back, he looked calmer but he was still shaking. I smiled at him and sat next to him. I gave him the glass and he took a small sip. He turned to look at me but when he opened his mouth to say something, nothing came out. He looked stressed.

" It's ok. You can talk to me when you are ready, no pressure."

Leaning his head to my shoulder, the shaking stopped. He was now calm and after a 2-minute silence, he talked.

" I had a nightmare about....Hydra. It wasn't really nightmares, more like memories playing like a movie. Like-Like flashbacks. I was back again to that awful place and I saw myself getting tortured for once more. It was as if I could feel the pain but it wasn't really there. I saw the Winter Soldier. That monster. ME! IT WAS ME Y/N! The monster that I am will never stop haunting me."

" What? Buck, you are NOT a monster! That person you were once is dead! The Winter Soldier is dead with Hydra thanks to the Avengers." I said rubbing his back.