Number One On The List

Fixed?

I knew Rhaven was thinking  of herself as some kind of  whore  because  she showed all the signs for it and it was clear as a crystal.  I remember the  girl getting  dressed and left directly afterwards. I remember  then rolling a blunt and lighting it up. I smiled at Rhaven. She awkwardly got dressed  and stood awaiting me to say something  first. "I guess I'll be leaving  now," she said. I just stood there and stared at her. I was unable to move, like I was paralyzed by  something.

As she went to grab the doorknob, I shot my hand towards hers and latched on very quickly.  Her breathing  had picked up slightly. I knew she thought of herself as worthless and it hurt me. Our eyes had met and I decided to go in for a kiss. I slid my tongue gently over hers, beginning  to make out with her. She quickly joined mine in a rhythm and our kisses soon became another round of making love.

I had her naked within a few minutes  and myself  very quickly  after. I walked towards her and put a finger on her jaw and said," Let me ask you something , just for curiosity's  sake." She kept her head down and replied," Sure. Shoot." I cleared my throat  in my head and I took a deep breath  and asked," Will you let me know if I hurt you during any of this? Honestly." She was hesitant  but she answered, " I'd  try but if you didn't stop, I'd just let you do whatever you want to me."

I had connected all the other pieces to the puzzle that was right in front of me and it began to make me rage because  someone as kindhearted and gorgeous as her shouldn't be put through any of that abuse and the everlasting scars that come with it. I knew she has a love/hate thing going on for me but I wasn't going to force her to do anything she didn't want to. She could sense it in my being that's who I am. The gently one until given access to be rough.

Her eyes a pretty green shade in this moment and it was mesmerizing. I felt so enchanted by her that I felt as if she was some kind of witch. "I want to with you more but I'm not sure if I can. Id like to give you a  for sure answer but I can't.  Not at the moment  anyways.," she said, after a few minutes. "I understand  completely  but I  have to say I'm still going to try to get you with me. That's just how I get when I see something I like and want. I just happen to want you," I said  back.

"I want to do that again but with just you.  Nobody else  involved.  Shit hurts almost  every  girl.  Makes her feel like she'll never be enough for you  after the first time.  I've been there with someone already before so," she said. The sense of  something else there not being said was very real and prominent.  I replied," I understand.  If you want I'll see you home. I'd love to walk you home." She was slightly hesitant on me seeing her home and I understood why.

She was afraid for her life even if it was obvious  that  she was trying to make it a secret. As I walked her home she blurted out, " You don't know me  so why be so nice to me? Why did you honestly  insist on walking me home even though I'm literally not even that far away." I didn't want to answer her questions  but I knew sooner or later I'd have to. "Well, I don't see why people shouldn't be  nice to sweet people like yourself.  And I insisted because  I  knew you secretly  wanted  it and wanted to give you what you wanted," I replied. She looked kind of embarrassed  but it was the truth and I wasn't about to lie. Not to her.