Four x reader (Divergent)

Visting Day

I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans as I put my hair up in a ponytail. Mum is coming today. What will I tell her? My leg bouncing doesn't help calm me, it just makes me more anxious. I have done a good job in Dauntless, I'm not afraid to admit it, but I never had a good time at Amity. I don't want to show my mum that her precious daughter is better at fighting rather than stopping it.
I look around at everyone's faces. No one seemed excited that it was visiting day, I couldn't blame them. It was nerve racking knowing that our parents or family members could ignore our existence. I took a deep breath and smoothed out my covers before jumping off the top bunk and walking out the dormitories, dragging my feet slightly. As I walk towards the Pit I think about what Eric said a few moments before. "It is best not to seem too attached. That will make it easier for you, and for them. We also take the phrase 'faction before blood' very seriously here. Attachment to your family suggests you aren't entirely pleased with your faction, which would be shameful. Understood?" I readjust my jacket as I feel sweat dripping down my neck. 

I understood. I understood very well. But I didn't care. Even when my 'faction' was on the brink of throwing me out, my mother was the only one that gave a fuck. Why should I throw that away just because I can use that to my advantage here?  

I take a deep breath as I lean on the banisters that look over into the Pit. I look at the clusters of families and smile. So many came that it actually surprised me. I never realised how bland Dauntless looked until I saw how much the colours of other factions protruded against the dark walls. When I first came here, I thought it looked amazing and in some way, the most colourful, now I can see I only thought that because I had never been in any other compound apart from the bright walls of Amity. I let out a harsh breath and pushed myself off the banister hearing it creak slightly. I looked at it in my peripheral vision as I walked away. It moved. I shook my head as I looked around for orange clothing. 

I searched for twenty minutes and I found myself standing at the chasm and looking out over the water. I focused on the sounds of the waves crashing as I leaned on the banister. Maybe seeing each other when I went to the fence was enough for her. I scratched the back of my neck as I felt my eyes begin to burn and a lump form in my throat.  

"Are your parents not here yet?" I looked at the hallway and saw Four approach me before he took a spot beside me. I narrowed my eyes as I looked around more, silently praying that the room was diming her bright clothes. He stayed quiet as he looked around. Four stood tall as he clearly showed that he was an important person. It amazed me how one person could be so... quietly confident. "Amity, right?" I did a small nod as my lip twitched downwards. I was ready to leave, I didn't want to stand around and embarrass myself in front of all these people. Was it more embarrassing to show that no one was coming, or to leave before anyone had came and to admit that I knew? 

I looked down at my hands as they rested on the banisters as I bit my lip. "She isn't coming." Four hummed. From how quiet it was I could tell he was still looking and wasn't fully listening to me. "She isn't coming," I raised my voice slightly as I looked up. He looked down at me with furrowed eyebrows and a confused look. "There's no point on looking." 

"How do you know?" I sighed and shook my head. 

"I just do." She never showed up for anything. Why would she show up for this? She was a great parent when it came down to being a parent. But when it came down to me having to do anything, it was always me. My first ever school play I got the lead, she didn't even know. When I had a talent show she didn't show because she had to do the stall. 

I leaned my head back, hanging it on air as I took a painful breath. My eyes snapped open as I faced forward again and took down my hair. "Are you ok-"