Seventeen Oneshots

Ships crack 5

[BARE WITH ME I'M BORED AND UNINSPIRED.

Disclaimer: None of these are my jokes- and it does mention some violence and swear words]

Seungcheol: Woozi isn't answering his phone

Hoshi: I'll call!

Seungcheol: Jeonghan and I have both been trying to contact him since earlier, what makes you think you c-

Hoshi, on the phone: Hello?

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Hoshi: *Screams*

Seokmin: *Screams louder to assert dominance*

Seungkwan: *Screams the loudest to let the world know he's a main vocal*

Seungcheol: Should we do something?

Jeonghan: Nah, I wanna see who wins

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Joshua: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container

Vernon: From the cow??

Joshua:

Joshua: What?

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Minghao: God, give me patience

Junhui: Do you mean 'give me strength'?

Minghao: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead

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Seungcheol: Where's the others?

Jeonghan: Playing hide and seek

Seungcheol: Where?

Jeonghan: ..I don't think you know how to play this game

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Seungkwan: I think Vernon and I are really close! We're so close to the point that we finish each other's-

Vernon: Sentences

Seungkwan: Uh no, don't interrupt me. Anyways..

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Seungcheol: Alright, we need a distraction

Wonwoo: Is anyone here good at making random noises and random dance moves?

Hoshi, holding a large speaker and a mic: My time has come

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Chan: If Soonyoung and I were drowning, who would you save?

Seungkwan: Whaat? I thought you both can swim?

Chan: It's an 'If', Kwan! A hypothetical question!

Seungkwan: Oh that's easy! I'd rather save... my fucking time and effort.

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Wonwoo: So, Why are Vernon and Seungkwan sitting with their backs to each other?

Chan: Oh, they had a fight

Wonwoo: They're.... holding hands

Chan: They said they get sad if they fight

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Minghao: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Vernon: Not if they consented to it

Wonwoo: Kinda depends who you're stabbing.

Seungcheol: WHAT- UH, YEAH??

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Hoshi: I just ended a four year relationship..

Seokmin: Oh my god, I'm so sorry.. Are you okay?

Hoshi: I'm fine... It wasn't my relationship anyways

*Mingyu and Wonwoo fighting from across the room*

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Joshua: Why is Seungkwan crying?

Vernon: He took one of those 'Which Seventeen member are you' quizzes

Joshua: What's wrong with that?

Vernon: He got Hoshi

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Hoshi: Must be hard not being able to laugh

Woozi: I still have a sense of humor you know?

Hoshi: I've never seen you laughing

Woozi: I've never heard you say something funny

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Mingyu: Bad things keep happening to me, I don't know why.. Maybe I just have a bad luck

Wonwoo: Oh, don't be like that. It's not because you have a bad luck, it's because you're a dumbass

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Seungkwan: My god, you're bleeding too much! Please just go to the doctor

Vernon: I'm sorry, since when have this been OUR stab wound? stay out of this

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Joshua: Date someone who would drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars

Wonwoo: If anyone, I mean ANYONE, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky, they will be removed from my life indefinitely