Seventeen Oneshots

Ships Crack

Its prompts I found on tumblr, mostly from tumblr but some I made myself

Wonwoo: Isnt it wierd we pay money just to see other human beings?

Mingyu: Are you talking about Prositution, the movies or the plane tickets?

Wonwoo: Glasses.

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Vernon, with kids hanging around him: Uhh can I get a little help here?

Seungkwan: Awww, nah, they claimed you, youre their property now

Vernon: Wha- Hey, dont leave me here!

Seungkwan: Good luck!

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Minghao: You know, youre pretty fucking stupid!

Jun: Awwww, baobei, you think im pretty?

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Cop: Mr. Choi, Im afraid theres been a terrible accident, your husband is dead

Seungcheol: but..he only just went out to get milk

Cop: Im so sorry, sir

Seungcheol: I cant- no- I cant- I cant have coffee without milk, I just cantt

Cop: Wtf?

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Soonyoung: Am I okay?

Jeonghan: Dont worry, its just a scratch on the leg

Soonyoung: Can I see?

Jeonghan:

Jeonghan: The leg is in another ambulance

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Seungkwan: Heyyy wanna fucc (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)??

Hansol: Whats that?

Seungkwan: Didnt youre parents ever tell you about birds and the bees?

Hansol:

Hansol: What the fuck are bees?

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Wonwoo: They say its hot when a guy roll up his sleeves and you can see their forearms

Mingyu: fuck

Mingyu: I only got 2 arms

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Jun: Hey, do you want nicotine addiction?

Hansol: no? Tf?

Jun: What if you might die?

Hansol: lmao sick, sign me up dude

Seungkwan: Hansol, we talked about this-

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Waiter: What would it be?

Seungkwan: Can I have a kimchi fried rice and some tteokbeokki, thanks

Waiter: Alright and what do you want sir?

Hansol: to get hit by the bus

Seungkwan: Do you guys have happy meal?

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Jun, wearing a bee costume: Hello everyone, tonight I would be doing Standup comedy

Mingyu: lol let me guess, youre glad we could BEE here tonight

Jun: *inhales deeply*

Jun: You think youre so hilarious, Mingyu? Shut the fuck up and leave the jokes to me

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Seungkwan: Ah, youre an idiot! I hate you!
Hansol: oh, what a coincidence but I do too!

-Joshua looks at the camera like The Office, an interview thing like The Office-

Joshua: its obvious they wanna fuck each other

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[In a car]

Seungkwan: Well fuck you, I love you
Hansol: Thats the thing..Im not gay
Seungkwan: Bullshit! Then why the hell are you always staring at me??

-Joshua sliding in the backseat, holding a microphone while singing-

Hansol: I cant, were best bros
Seungkwan: But I fell inlove with you! Now answer me
Hansol: BECAUSE YOU HAVE A NICE BUTT!

-Joshua stops singing and looks at Hansol-

Seungkwan:
Hansol:
Joshua:

-Verkwan makes out-

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Chan: *wearing several layers of clothing, shivering* G-Goddamnit..I-I-Its so coldd..
Hansol: *wearing a swimsuit with a towel* hey uh, *adjusts sunglasses* who has sunscreen?
Chan: What the f-f-fuck-
Hansol: *dips toes in the pool* Oh..its a little bit chilly today *dives into frozen water.
Seungkwan: Hansol No-

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Seungkwan: Hey, bro is this seat taken?
Hansol: Yes, this seat is for my bestfriend only
Seungkwan: *pouts and starts walking away*
Hansol: You know that means you, right?
Seungkwan: *Beams Happily*

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Mingyu: *Takes Wonwoo's hand*
Wonwoo: what was that?
Mingyu: Uhh, affection?
Wonwoo: ew
Wonwoo: Do it again

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Seungkwan: *Wins at Uno* HAHA FUCK YOU LOSERS, HOW DOES MY ASS TASTE!!
Hansol: Its good, desirable but its alright..
Chan: Jesus fucking christ..
Jihoon: For fucks sake this is a card game, stop

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*Verkwan giving butterfly kisses to each other*

Seungcheol: Oh my god, what is this? This is cuTe. Are yALl FinAlly a thing? Im proUd oF you bOy. Look At yOu Youre GrOwn uP noW. vErkWan is ReAl Peoples I tEll you. SomEthiNg gOod FinAllY HaPpEns
Jeonghan: Jesus, chill

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Jun: *licks his lips while rolling up his sleeves*
Minghao: Jesus take the wheel

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Wonwoo: Can you promise me that you'll never cheat?
Mingyu: Yeah sure! I would never cheat on you
Wonwoo: I actually meant that youd never cheat on a test

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*Verkwan eats beside each other*

Chan, narrating: Hansol is thinking about whether the chicken taste better than Seungkwan or not
Seungkwan: What the fuck?
Chan: Seungkwan actually likes it
Hansol: What?
Chan: They face each other and slowly lean in and kiss
Hansol:
Seungkwan:
Jihoon: Can you stop?
Chan: nO
(This was funnier in my head ngl)

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Mingyu, laying ill on the bed: Dont come any closer! I fear death is almost upon me-
Wonwoo: *flops down next to him and kisses* Youre worth catching a fever for
Mingyu:....
Mingyu: Get off me, you're obviously sick too. Youre not yourself-