I don't wanna lose control

pain

Marinette's pov

My bones cracked as I stood in front of the commander, breaking over and over. My skin ripped and burned. I could hear Chat crying out my name. He was screaming. The world warped around me and suddenly Kagami came in. She laughed at me and I watched in horror as her arm grew into a blade. I felt the weapon burn hot on my skin.

Chat was laughing now, pointing at me as I felt the blood slowly spewing from my wounds and lips. He continued to laugh.

I watched as the commander set the old family car on fire, the one with the broken door, and I could hear my parents screaming.

The commander shot me again with her weapon and I felt myself giving in. I took out my earrings.

I was sat in the middle of the road, my neck and wounds bleeding freely, the rain pouring and the world in chaos around me. Fires and death and destruction and chat and Adrien and Alya and Nino and Luka and everyone stood around me, laughing as I bled out.

I woke up with a start, my breathing heavy. Immediately my hands rose to my neck. There was no wound. No blood. It was just a nightmare. I still couldn't control my breathing and every part of me ached like it was only yesterday that the battle with the commander had happened.

I looked around my room, everything looking sinister in the nighttime shadows.

"Marinette? Are you okay?" Tikki was glowing slightly and rubbing her eyes. I must have woken up.

"Sorry Tikki. I had a nightmare."

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked, sitting on my hand.

"Not really. Though, I don't think I'll be able to sleep now."

I reached and turned on my phone. It was 5:00 am. Last night I had texted Luka to phone me to wake me up at half six. I sighed.

"Marinette, Master Fu said something about you having nightmares. Maybe that herbal stuff he gave you could help?"

"I don't want to waste any. Plus I think this was just a one off thing.

I pulled myself out of bed and changed into my normal clothes. I was still slightly on edge from my dream.

"Tikki, do you mind if I go out for a bit. As ladybug? I just want to clear my head."

"Go ahead Marinette. I can recharge on the way to school."

"Tikki, spots on!"

Running across the roofs of Paris as ladybug is always exhilarating. The wind in my hair, the world around me rushing past. I flipped off the edge of one building and landed on top of another with a roll. The freezing air woke me up and for a while, I managed to forget about the nightmare. About everything.

I stopped and watched as the sun began to rise. It slipped over the top of buildings and lit up the world. I checked my yo-yo. 6:00. I had been running for an hour.

I felt so alive.

I dropped down onto the empty streets, the silence crowding around me. Peaceful. I transformed back and sat down on a small bench in area which I didn't really recognise. Plugging my headphones in, I started playing some music.

All was going well until I felt a twinge of pain from around my ribs. I grimaced and brought my hand up to the area which hurt and pressed it lightly. Nothing. Master Fu did say I had broken a couple ribs but it was all healed up by now. I frowned and pressed around the area. Absolutely nothing. I shook of the idea of being hurt and continued to listen to my music. I was fine.

Luka's call came suddenly and I smiled at his contact.

"Hey!" Panicking I put on my best 'i just woke up voice'.

"Ugh Luka what the hell. It's so early."

"Don't get mad at me for waking you up, you asked me to call you to make sure you wouldn't be late."

"Yeah yeah, okay. What are you doing anyway?"

"What? Oh, I'm just chilling, playing a song. I hope one day I can play it for you."

"What time is it?"

"Umm... It's half past six so you have a while. Okay. Are you still on for tonight?"

"Yeah of course! I'm really excited!"

"Awesome! I'll see you then. Stay safe Marinette." Luka hung up and almost immediately I missed his voice.

I felt bad for lying to him about having just woken up but it was just a small lie. I'm sure it doesn't matter, I thought as I convinced Tikki to let me transform again to get back home.

"Okay Marinette, but promise you will let me eat and sleep whilst you are at school." She said in her small, tinkly voice.

"Tikki, spots on!"

I arrived at school at 7:15 after heading home, eating breakfast and grabbing my bag. I had taken a more direct route home to save time and once again I was at school early.

I was reminded of the fiasco which had happened with Adrien and Chloe yesterday and wondered if he was doing okay. He had seemed pretty down when we went to get ice-cream, especially around Luka.

I was almost at the top of the steps when I felt a sharp pain spike through my abdomen and up to my neck, doubling me over. It felt like a knife being run up my body. I seethed through my teeth as I probed the skin and pain flourished from the gentle touch. I clambered up the last couple steps and made my way as quickly as I could to the girls restroom, locking myself in a cubicle and pulling up my shirt.

I stared at the deep purple bruise which had definitely not been there this morning as it bisected my torso. The veins which ran from it were tinged a violet colour. I gaped at it until it began to fade slowly and turned back to its normal colour. I rubbed my eyes and looked again but sure enough, the bruise was gone as though it had never existed. I brushed my fingers lightly where it had been but there was no pain. Nothing.

"Marinette, you should take some of Master Fu's medicine."

"Not now Tikki, it's so early in the day and you said it made me really sleepy. I can't afford to fall asleep in class. Besides, I'm fine see? No bruise no pain."

"But Marinette! we can't just ignore what we both just saw-"

"Yes we can Tikki. Now, didn't you say you wanted to sleep?" I raised my eye brows and carefully shut her inside my purse. She could easily phase out but she was so tired from this morning that she was likely to sleep until the end of the day at least.

Straightening my shirt, I unlocked the door and washed my hands and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked a bit pale in the mirror so I splashed some water on my face. I was probably just tired from waking up so early. I turned away from the mirror and left the restroom, returning to the quiet of the halls. I would head to the library for a bit before class starts, I decided and I wondered in its direction, hoping to find something there to pass the time.

I wrote this instead of doing my homework so ya welcome. Hope you enjoyed it and stay tuned for the next chapter which will hopefully come out soon!! Ilya!!