I don't wanna lose control

a collection of thoughts and feelings

Marinette's pov

We entered the coffee shop and I welcomed the warmth. It had started raining during our journey there and I was glad to have picked up mum's umbrella before leaving to meet Alya. Even now, the quiet of the restaurant was filled with the sound of rain pattering on the windows. The place was decorated like a kind of vintage barn and my eyes strayed to look at the small ornaments and trinkets which covered the shelves along the walls.

We walked together to an empty table and I rested the umbrella against the table leg to which Alya raised her eyebrows.

"Where's Adrien's umbrella?" She questioned, removing her coat.

"I gave it back." I replied plainly, shaking my jacket lightly and hanging it on the back of my chair.

"You gave it back? Seriously?!"

Alya's face practically dared me to tell her it was a lie but I just shrugged and sat down.

"Can you go order because you love me?"

"Are you kidding me? I can't believe you actually gave it back! Also yeah sure I'll order but you're doing it next time."

"Believe it, also I love you." I gave her a sheepish smile and she swatted me away saying she'll get me my usual because I'm boring and predictable. "Actually, Alya, do you think you could get me something else."

"Huh? Wait so you don't want an americano?"

"Nope."

"What do you want then?"

"Surprise me."

"Marinette are you sure you are feeling okay? First you are wearing new clothes, which you look great in by the way. Now you no longer have Adrien's umbrella and you want me to surprise you with a random drink?"

"Alya, I'm feel completely fine. In fact, I feel the best that I have in a while."

Alta shifted closer to me and placed her hand on mine.

"It's good to see you smiling girl."

She walked away and stood at the small queue at the counter. There were only two other groups of people in the cafe which was nice. It was quiet. Peaceful.

I allowed my body to relax, my muscles which seemed to always, permanently be tensed finally taking a break. I turned to the window to see that the rain was slowly turning to snow, sleet falling with a mixture of snow flakes.

It wouldn't settle. The large shower we had had earlier promised that. Thinking of snow made me think of Christmas. Which was only a month away. Time sure flies.

I have Adrien's present already though I doubt I would be able to give it to his face. I'll probably just leave it at his house. I should probably add an apology note as well. I shouldn't be horrible to him just because he doesn't like me. That's not a Marinette thing to do. I have a link saved on my phone to order Alya a new rug for her room as well as a special edition ladybug action figure. I got Nino a gift card for one of his favourite music stores. Everyone else I'm going to bake ginger bread for. Even Chloe. In fact, the only person I didn't have a present for, as Marinette or Ladybug, was Chat Noir.

My eyes roamed around the cafe until I spotted something silver one of the shelves. I stood up and walked over to it. A locket. It was shining, hand crafted but not too feminine. I picked it up and held it in my palm. It was big enough to hold a decent sized photo but wasn't so big that it was garish. I pulled at the tag on the chain. €30.

It was quite expensive, especially for me: a 15 year old with no job, but I felt as though I had to. Because it would suit my partner so well.

Cradling the locket, I walked up to where Alya was now paying and gently placed it on the counter.

"Hello miss, oh, I see you have found this locket. They say it used to belong to a handsome knight who was gifted it by his lover. You can still see the faint inscription on the back." The girl at the counter spun the locket and on the back, the words of a long gone girl had been inscribed. Time had worn them down so that only a few of the words were actually legible.

"I think it used to say: 'to my beloved hero who holds my heart, be safe' along with the girls name of course but all that is left is-"

"My beloved hero... M." I read the faint words and my heart seemed to speed up.

"It's such a beautiful story, isn't it. I would have bought it for myself but that seemed impertinent. Are you buying it as a gift?"

"Yes, I am," I could feel Alya staring right at me but I ignored her gaze, "I'm going to buy it for my hero."

The girl behind the counter's eyes seemed to gloss over and she sighed dreamily before ringing it up and placing it in a small paper bag.

"I hope your knight likes it miss." She handed me the bag and I smiled at her and grabbed her hands gently.

"Thank you."

Alya then proceeded to grab our drinks and my arm and drag me back to our table where she sat me down and pushed the drink in front of me, the liquid sloshing over the edges.

"Marinette, I swear, if that necklace is for Adrien I'm going to whack you. Not that I don't ship you guys but I thought you were like, totally over him." She whisper shouted over the table.

"It's for someone special, that's all you are going to know." I said, tucking it in my purse next to Tikki who immediately stuck her head into the packet and tapping my nose.

"Goddamn you and your secret boyfriends Marinette. Drink your stupid chai latte."

"He's not my boyfriend and besides, I'm not going to tell him who it's from. It's going to be anonymous." Technically this was true. He doesn't know who I am as ladybug.

"I swear Marinette, sometimes I think you have common sense but then you go and say something like this."

"Huh?"

"If you like a guy, tell him. You have had a bad track record but now things are different. Go for it girl."

"Next year, okay? If I haven't told him by next year that I like him then I will buy him something and send it with my name attached. Deal?"

"Deal. And just to make sure I still don't get to know who this guy is?"

"Nope."

"Drink your chai latte!"

And as the sleet outside turned to a thick flurry of snow, each flake instantly melting as they touched the wet ground, I sipped my chai latte and chatted to my best friend; Such an action I thought I would never get to do again.

Enjoy.