Ours To Be (All Ours, #1)

Chapter 42

NO smut in this one, loves. Enjoy!

Kayden

Was she really expecting me to just sleep through the night after the day we just had?

There's no fucking way.

I was up all night, just holding her warm body against my naked chest and breathing her in, swooping her hair back out of her face and trying not to stir her awake when she finally got to sleep.

All while plotting murder.

I tried. I really, really tried to stay calm and reasonable for her. She just needed someone to hold her, be and stay by her side- so I did, internally kicking myself in the nuts for even letting her go up alone in the first place.

I freaked the fuck out. I had never felt so much emotion in my life. Ever. I wanted to burst into tears with her but I was so enraged, so fucking furious at the thought of someone- anyone- laying a finger on her with anything other than fondness- my hands were just aching to get the motherfuckers address and go make a little visit. I don't give a fuck if it's her dad, I'll lay him the fuck down and then bury him 10 feet under. But I don't know any of the details yet so I can't afford to get irrational now and make hasty decisions out of anger. Plus, she needs me here right now and so that's where I'll fucking be.

For now. This is most definitely not over for him. He's a dead man walking if this is even half as bad as I'm expecting it to be.

My heart has only ever hurt for my sister like that after the accident and I swore that was the worst of it, but this... this is agony I can't even describe. The destitute, heart gritting kind that leaves you so fucking helpless, you don't even know what to do with yourself. It makes you question everything. Every smile she ever gave me, every touch she seemed comfortable with, every time she made it seem like she felt save around me. Every. Fucking. Thing.

Now, I don't think she's that good of an actress so I'm gonna go out on a limb and say she was comfortable around me, but maybe something was bothering her in the back of her mind and I was sitting there like an idiot, completely unaware that my woman was struggling right beside me. Then again, maybe she wasn't hiding anything. Maybe she really is as carefree with me as she seems.

My minds been wandering for hours, which makes me go back to the night I found her all cried-out in her apartment.

Fucking hell.

Fucking. Hell.

Holy shit. Does this have to do with that? Did he hurt her that day? Something must have happened for her to respond that way. I hadn't gotten her out of her clothes that day so there's no way I could have spotted bruises or known but I should've asked more. I shouldn't have settled for her ''I don't want to talk about it'', goddammit. I'm such a fucking moron. She was hurting right next to me and all I thought to do was to distract her with a silly fucking movie and hot Cheetos.

God-fucking-dammit. I think my head might explode before she even wakes up.

I need to smoke. I really don't want to leave her side right now but I need a smoke. I've actually stopped smoking cigarettes after our first kiss which wasn't nearly as impossible as I thought it was going to be, but it's the only thing I got on me now. I took the BMW today and my stash is still in my G's glove compartment. I haven't worn the suit I wore to the wedding for a pretty long time so when I patted myself down in search of my phone, I felt the pack of Marlboro's burning a hole in my pocket and remembered I'd put them there after a fundraiser in June.

Before I knew her.

God, what was life even like before she invaded it? I honestly can't remember. It's all a big blur of shit I never want to revisit again. Like a bad movie you would never watch again.