Ours To Be (All Ours, #1)

Chapter 47

Kayden

''I'm telling you!''

''Nah, I don't care what you say. You can't convince me the whole relationship shit is better than the single life.'' Joshua fires back.

''I'm not trying to convince you, you fucking bozo. It's sheer facts.''

He snorts, shaking his head. ''Bro, I'm real happy for you and all, but-''

''But nothing.'' I shoot him a look. ''Let me paint you a picture and trigger your inoperable commitment-phobia for a minute. You come home from work after a long, shitty day and your woman is on your couch, reading some trashy fucking romance or in the middle of your kitchen with your favorite meal spread out over your counter. Man, that smile when I walk in alone is enough to make my damn day and she doesn't even realize what she does. I can promise you that when you get the right one, she will bend over fucking backwards for you to be happy and you'll punch yourself in the face on why you didn't get her sooner.''

''Woman are complicated, Kayd.'' He scratches behind his ear, almost uneasily. ''I can't afford complications.''

''You've been friends with five for years, you know as well as I do that they're not fucking hard to please.''

The fucker smirks. ''Pleasure's not the issue.''

''Not what I meant, asshole.'' I whack a palm over the back of his head. ''It's not even about that. Pussy whenever and wherever is nothing more than a bonus. You'll never know real pleasure until your girl jumps over your neck when she sees you walk through the door.''

His face loops down. ''When did you become this big of a wimp?''

''Just in love, brother, just in love.'' I laugh.

I can't believe I've been holding off on telling her how much I love her for this long. We've been together for over two months now and Isabella has slowly, what feels like, taken over my life. My days feel useless if I don't fall asleep with her or wake up with her- despite her curls always somehow docking in my mouth in the middle of the night. I really thought I'd need space or feel cornered seeing her that much but the truth is, its not enough. Sometimes shit doesn't work out and we end up at our own places for the night but then I always try to snag a quick breakfast with her before driving off to the office.

I realized that spending time with your person isn't about lavish dates and expensive, exclusive outings. I'm happy just helping her study for a bar exam she has to take in November. Hell, I'm happy watching her bake fucking cookies. Just being around her for a few hours is not nearly enough to get my daily dose of Isabella. I wish she'd just move in with me but I know that if I ask, she'll laugh in my face. I have to find the perfect moment for a question like that and even I'm not dumb enough to do it after two months of being together.

There were a couple of things I definitely needed to get used to for a moment. Things like taking her to the doctor for her to get iron dextran injections, for instance. She's always downplaying how bad her anemia actually is. She's always clutching her chest in pain or in shortage of breath. Always cold- her hands and feet are like blocks of ice against me at night. She has headaches as often as she screams at me to leave the toilet seat down at her place and then immediately gets lightheaded afterwards. She has these episodes where she can barely stand and everything goes black for her and she feels like she needs to puke but nothing is coming out and her head is killing her and she feels like she can't breathe. It happened once, and she said it doesn't occur a lot, she was just on her period and losing a lot of blood that day, but it was scary as fuck. I had to keep myself from getting an actual panic attack and take good care of her. Her doctor told me to just lay her down on a flat surface on times like those and place two larger pillows underneath her legs so her blood starts flowing smoothly again and I have notes of everything.