The Sisters Of The Court

Chapter 74: Alice

St. Petersburg 1916
I sit at the grave of my husband. He has been gone for so many years and my heart still aches for him every single day. Tears stream down my face as I rest my hand on his tombstone. "No one understands me like you did" I manage to say through broken sobs. "No one did, no one does." I cry. "I miss you, I miss you everyday my darling" I sob. I stay for hours there until I have to leave. I could stay forever with him, so he would not be alone.

I get home to an empty house. After sending all of my day at my husbands grave and at church no one is home. Nicholas is probably with Victoria at Michael's. Peter is at the front and Alexander in the infirmary. Madeline must be with the little pair. I hear the cries of toddler Peter as his nurse rushes to him. He has his own nursery, my first grandson. I hear the cries stop and peer through the open door as he is in the nurses lap. The boy notices me and gets off the nurse as she notices me too.

All of are silent as the little boy walks up to me. He pulls on my skirt wanting up. I pick him up and sit down in an empty rocking chair. The little boy touches my face and observes me. He lets out a giggle as he puts both hands on my face.  He moves his hands down to my locket and grasps it. I immediately start to panic and move him away. I sharply take his hand to get it away from my precious locket. "Take him" I order to the nurse as she gets up quickly to take him as the little boy starts to cry.

I walk out of the room and go straight to my office. I sit down and take out a cigarette. I light it and smoke, calming my nerves down. Father Grigori is coming for a visit tomorrow at the palace, I'm looking forward to seeing him, god knows that he is the only one that can bring us comfort. I take out a piece of paper and write a letter to my sister, I haven't spoken with her for a while, a letter should do us some good. As I write I smoke, feeling more calm.

"Your Grace" I hear Walter say. "Hello Walter" I greet as I keep my head down continuing to write. "Have my other letters been sent? Did you see Nicholas today?" I ask him. "Yes, everything has been done" he says as I feel his hand on top of mine, stopping me from writing. I look up at him, "what is it?". He looks at me nervously, "Well there is this woman that I have known for a long time, she is wonderful, kind, and caring. I- I fell in love with her" he admits.

I offer him a smile, "Good for you Walter, are you going to marry her?" I ask him. He doesn't look at me, "She doesn't know about my feelings". "Oh well then you should tell her if it means a lot to you, don't waste time, take it from me. No single person will stay on this earth forever" I explain with my wise words. "You really think I should tell her?" He asks me as I stand up and put out my cigarette. "Of course" I encourage getting my papers together.

I feel him push me to him as his lips press onto mine. My heartbeat goes wild as my gut twists, I feel sick. I push him away and slap him with all of my strength as my face turns red and I burn with anger, "What is wrong with you?! Kissing me on the death day of my husband! I want you out! You are out! Don't come back, ever! you don't work for me anymore!" I shout at enraged as he stands frozen before turning to leave with his head down. The audacity, thinking that I would ever want to be with someone else.

The next day I sit in Sunny's tea room with her and Father Grigori and Anna. He has been helping her and he has helped me as well. He has given me a towel with holy water and a prayer blessing from him to use it on Nicholas when something pains him. He helped ease my nerves especially since Alexander got wounded in the leg and has been in the infirmary. "I can see the sorrow in your eyes Alice, do not worry as your husband is still here with you." father Grigori says as he puts his hand on mine as I smile at him, "oh father, I do not know what I would do without you. Because of you my Nickie has been feeling better".

Father Grigori sips on his tea, "No trouble at all, how is Alexander doing?" He asks. "He has been in the infirmary Madeline is there with him now" I explain. "Take me there, I will pray upon his wound" he says. Alix and I lead Father Grigori to the infirmary as I see Maria jump away from Alexander that is laying wounded in his bed and Madeline is no where in sight. "Where is your sister?" I ask alexander but Maria answers while flushed, "she went for a walk".

I take the answer and let father Grigori pray as we stand watching him. Alexander looks at him bored as I glare at him, he should have more respect to father, he is a holy man. Once father Grigori finishes Alix and I and Anna take him back to the tea room to continue our discussions. 

A few days go by and Nicholas's health started to get worse. I used the cloth as father Grigori instructed and it helped a little bit. I phoned father Grigori and he came, praying upon hours and hours for my son. Poor Nickie was pushed aside to the ground by one of Scarlett's monster children. He has been bleeding  and his wound has been swelling uncontrollably since. I tend to his other wounds as much as I can but Father Grigori seems to be helping the most. Nickie grows much weaker by the day, I can't loose my baby.