The Sisters Of The Court

Chapter 29: Scarlett

I stare at myself in the floor length mirror searchingly. I can't be pregnant, not with this monster's spawn. I feel sick to my stomach with l disgust, I can't be pregnant by him, I just can't. I quickly rush to the toilet and vomit, I can feel the tears flowing down my cheeks in a steady stream, I don't want this. I hear my son start to fuss in the other room and I try to get myself together some, I don't want him to see me like this even if he is just a baby. I walk into the other room and pick him up, putting him on my shoulder and he calms down. "It'll be alright my love, We'll both be ok." I kiss him on the side of the head gently as his tiny hands grasp onto my hair. I hold him as close as I can, Trying to regain some sort of my strength from him. I don't want to give Boris this satisfaction of bearing his child. George starts to squirm in my arms as I lay him down so he can move around. I watch happily as he tries to roll over onto his stomach, pride bubbles up in me as I kneel down next to him and play with his tiny wisps of hair. He coos and reaches up for me again giving me a gummy smile. I can't resist my urge to want to hold him even more so I pick him up as I sit down on my desk. I don't know what to do, If Boris ever found out I'm pregnant and I try to get rid of it-I can't do that he would kill me. I start to feel sick again, I don't want this devil spawn inside of me, it would kill me to have it. I shift my baby onto my shoulder and get out a piece of paper. I'll send a letter to George, he's my best friend and he'll know what to do. I quickly scratch down my message on a piece of paper. George, I am pregnant with a child conceived on my wedding night. I do Not know what to do, I can't possibly keep it. Please help. Your Friend, Scarlett. I quickly seal it and address it to George. I need an answer quickly before Boris finds out somehow. I take my son down off my shoulder as he looks at me with wide green eyes, just like mine. I put him down in his cradle and mail the letter quickly so that nobody has time to open it. I spend the rest of the day anxiously in my room reading my favorite book, Anna Karenina. I can barely focus on it today though. The child inside of me isn't mine, it was made in hate instead of love. My mind wanders, there's teas that cause miscarriage, if only I could get my hands on it somehow. George will be on my side, he'll tell me that I shouldn't have to bear this child and then I'll go through with it. It's better than pitching myself down a flight of stairs, I still have my beautiful baby to take care of. My door opens and I jump immediately out of my chair as if whoever is there has heard my private thoughts. A maid comes in and hands me a letter which I eagerly snatch out of her hand before dismissing her impatiently. I want to be alone with this, if she saw what was inside she would report back to that devil. I tear it open and pace the room as I read it, my phonograph playing in the corner. Scarlett, What wonderful news a child is! I know how terrible your wedding night and Boris was but it was not this child's fault. It is an innocent baby who I'm sure you will love once you meet it. Children cannot be faulted for their parents, Alice and I will be here if you need anything. Your friend, George.
I slowly sink back into an armchair as I read it. Has he gone out of his mind? How could he think it's wonderful news? This thing inside me! I feel exhausted and out of options, I know deep down I can't love this thing. I slowly get up and get into bed, feeling sick and weak all of a sudden. I toss the letter into the fire and turn my back to it, I don't want to think of it anymore right now.

I wake up the next morning and go down to get something to eat, there's circles under my eyes and I feel disgusted with myself in every way possible. I sit down at the table and take a piece of toast to try and calm my stomach. Before I can even take a bite someone grabs a chin from behind and pulls my head backwards harshly. "Good morning my dear, finally warming up to me?" Boris says and I grimace at his lustful smirk. He pushes his lips onto my greedily and I force my head away. "Let Go of me you bastard." I spit in his face and he drags me up against the wall wrapping his hands around my neck and forcing me into a corner. He looks at me with fury and I stare at him back before the back of his hand slaps me and I fall onto the ground. "You stupid cunt, you're lucky you don't get worse for that. You think you're so smart, trying to keep secrets from me." He rests his hand on my stomach gently and I cringe at the movement. "If you ever try to do anything to this child I will kill you." He whispers into my ear and my heart pounds. I don't even care how he knows, my heart sinks down into my stomach. I can't get rid of it now. He draws a finger down my cheek, "I don't know why you're so upset, you were begging for what I gave you on our wedding night like the slut you are." He holds my chin tightly and I raise my hand, slapping him across the face as hard as I can. "I hope it's a girl just so you don't get your precious son." I snap at him and he forces my arms behind my back painfully, "If it's a girl, you're going to wish you were dead." He whispers next to my ear with barely controlled anger and I freeze. I can't move, my baby son, he needs me. I have to be there for him. I try to swallow my fear but I can't, "You wouldn't dare, you're too much of a coward." My voice comes out as a shaky whisper filled with fear as he smiles at me again. "I may be a lot of things my dear but I'm not a coward." He lets go of me before walking out of the room as I sit on the ground shaking. I put a hand up to my face and there's blood on my hand from when he struck me. I slowly get up and press a towel to my face to stop the bleeding before going back to my room.