71. Remember

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"Tell all the homies that you're the one to blame
And when you speak my name
I'd like you to explain the lies you told me
That's why I walked away
I never did complain, you never heard me say
You's a suck ass, busta ass"

~jhene

Kennedy banks pov

I race to India as fast  as I can trying to make it to the house before she leaves or burns it down

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I race to India as fast as I can trying to make it to the house before she leaves or burns it down .

My heart is beating fast and my mind is roaming already knowing how much pain she's going through at the moment and everything's she's thinking .

I know she feels betrayed , hurt , lied to and like the whole world is coming to the end , just like I did when my life fell into shambles with von when he told me about them females being pregnant. Everything felt uncontrollable and I just wanted to shut everyone out and be by myself .

Now with all this going on , it's bringing back memories of the hard stressful times in my relationship and From the look on Durks face and the clothes on his back , she didn't take the news lightly and is going through the hardest time of her life right now .

I know she probably hates all of us and wants to be by herself right now but since I feel so guilty and this is partially my fault . I feel responsible to at least attempt to comfort her .

I pull into Durk and India's neighborhood and as I'm approaching their house I notice smoke fuming from their driveway .

"Oh god " I mumble to myself pulling up to see india standing in front of one of Durks cars with a gas jug in her hand as the car burns with most of his clothes hanging out of it .

I sigh and shake my head before getting out the car and rushing up to her .

"India ! " I yell pulling her away from the flames "you shouldn't inhale all that smoke, come inside " I tell her as she snatches away from me aggressively and looks back upset .

Her eyeliner is smeared down her face and her hair looks like she's been in a street fight . You could tell she had been crying and the hurt in her eyes tells me all I need to know .

"You knew "her voice cracks as she looks at me in pain making me tear up myself and look away . I knew this conversation was coming up , and I'm still not prepared for it .

"India I - "

"How could you keep this from me Kennedy ? I looked at you like my sister "she snaps letting tears stream down her face

"I didn't - "

"You looked me in the face when I told you about her and acted clue less ! How could you ? " she cries

"He's my brother india! "I snap finally getting words out " and although I don't agree with what he did I can't just throw him under the bus like that " I say as she frowns and shakes her head "when he told me I told him to tell you and when I realized he didn't I gave you hints- "

"A hint ?!" She screams "he cheated on me and you talking about a fucking hint ?! " she asks again while I just look away .

No matter what I say or what points I try to make nothing will make it better . In her eyes I'm disloyal and honestly that's how it looks . I didn't want to be in the middle of this but when Durk told me I couldn't just go straight to her no matter how much I love her . I would do the same for her if it was Durk , it's their problem .

"Look I know you may think this is my fault , but I didn't mean for you to get hurt " I tell her and she waves me off obviously not beliving it "I didn't tell you because I wanted him to tell you . Hearing the message from anyone else would've hurted worse "I stop then catch my self realizing that's exactly what happened

"Tuh "she scoffs and sniffs "I have your back through everything Kennedy "she starts causing me to tear up again " the abortion , Vons kids , the pregnancy, the engagement, hell even when I keep you posted on when and where I see him " she says " but you set in my face and smiled with me when he proposed knowing what he did behind my back " she finishes breaking completely down

"India I'm sorry " I say crying as she drops to the ground and I bend down to hug her

"All I've ever been was loyal to him , and love him with all my heart " she cries "y'all watched me get depressed over him pushing me away and this whole time all those jokes and laughs were about me . Y'all ain't shit " she says through her tears making my heart shatter

She's absolutely right . The whole trip everyone threw jabs at Durk over his big secret and india just sat there hurt thinking she was the problem. I know she must feel betrayed and she has the right . I just wished I would've made the right decision and made Durk tell her earlier . But it's my fault for thinking he could be a man and handle things before someone else did for him .

"I'm so sorry you had to find out this way and I'm sorry he did it in the first place but I swear I would never laugh behind your back about your heart being broken india I love you like my blood , you're my family " I tell her honestly as she lays in my arms trying to control her breathing

"What am I going to do Kennedy ?" She asks in a low tone as her crying starts to fade "I have nothing without Durk "she shakes her head "no family , no friends , nothing " her voice cracks

"You have me " I say and she exhales

"He's still going to be around you " she says raising up "and I don't want to be around him , I need to get away "she cries looking at me "away from this house , away from this city , away from everything " she says and I nod understanding

"How about this "I start "first thing in the morning we'll go look into getting you a condo or something " I nod

"With what money ?! " she yells "Durk does everything for me " she shakes her head

"Listen to me " I grab her hand "I got you " I tell her "you're going to be okay "

I see the tears build back up in her eyes as she shakes her head and lets them fall "how could he do this to me ?" She sniffs "was I not enough for him ?"

"No it wasn't you " I shake my head "you're perfect india don't blame yourself "I tell her . "He just needs to grow up , you can't control his maturity "

"I'm pregnant Kennedy "she breaks down "what am I supposed to do ?"

"We're going to get through it I promise "I say hugging her again "whatever you need me to do I'm here " I say as she calms down in my arms and clears her throat before speaking

"I need you to take willow to Durk " she says simply standing up as I look up at her

"Well Where are you going ? " I asks

"To find myself "

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