CLN's Seasonal Reviews (CLOSED)

Forgive Me - by - EmareldHistory

Review done by Taebaetae74

Cover: 02/05

The stocks you used do not go with each other at all. Similarly, the fonts used & the background doesn't go either. The huge gap made it look plain & too obvious to my eyes. The title doesn't go with the overall cover's theme. It could be centralized too- along with the author's name. The pictures' quality isn't so good either. The 1 you got for the cover is for the effort you put into it.

Title: 03/05

It did suit the book. But, it is way too common. Also, it didn't go that well with the book's theme. Maybe go for something more unique? Or, if you want it to convey the same message, then go for synonyms.

Synopsis: 03/10

It wasn't really eye-catching due to how straightforward & to-the-point you were. It would've been a lot better if you made it more entrancing with more details. There was an error in the tense too. At the beginning of the blurb, you use 'are brought up' & then switch to 'made their destiny'. These are different tenses. Stick to one. The sentence constructions were a tad bit poor too.

Execution: 03/10

I'm not going to beat around the bush. It was very poor. I've explained it in detail in the coming categories. The chapters were, firstly, extremely short with little to no descriptive scenes. I couldn't relate to any of the emotions you were trying to convey. It was just all very plain.

Plot: 10/20

Honestly, I did not like the fact that you basically spoiled the whole story in the characters' chapter. Some people come to read the book based on the mysterious vibes its synopsis gives off. If you spoil it, they'll just skip the book.

The idea was good- but, it cannot really be appreciated due to the poor execution. And like I said above, you spoilt it- which again, fails to draw more readers.

Writing Style: 10 /20

First off, we should speak about the way you present dialogues. Dialogues are supposed to be in direct speech and not names and colons unless it's a play or a skit- which I'm pretty sure is not.

When I read the book, I felt like I was reading lecture notes. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, there was a lack in terms of expressions. It was like you were bringing scenes after scenes without a proper flow or explanation. 

Of course, it's not that you should add descriptive scenes at every point of the chapter. But, adding some details with a good way around your words would really help the readers a lot. Use your words to manipulate readers into thinking about what setup or scenario your book or characters undergo.

Then, of course, the grammatical errors made it a tad bit difficult to comprehend the tone of your writing style but other than this, it was all good. I must add, do not over exaggerate words by adding extra syllables- for real, it hurt my eyes. Italics do it just fine- along with one exclamation mark.

Your skills lack descriptive writing. You fail to draw readers to the book without adding acute details to the scenes in your book. This is self-explanatory. As of now, it was just bland, you know? There was no 'way' of going around with words. Just plain information & scripted dialogues.

Also, you should not add notes here and there while the story goes on, in brackets. That just ruins the flow. If you wish to convey actions, write them properly & with grace.

Grammar & Vocabulary: 10/20

The basic punctuation marks like question marks- firstly, you add 2 or 3 question marks or exclamation marks at some points which is totally wrong. And at some other points, you did not even bother using a question mark for questions.

Moving on, I'd like to talk about the ellipsis you use. The universal value of an ellipsis is 3; nothing more, nothing less. Moreover, I feel that you use way too many ellipses to let slip.

There were errors in your tenses too. If you decide to write in part tense, you might as well stick to it. Changing it here and there is really confusing and just wrong, to begin with. Using 4 or 5 of them is grammatically incorrect.

Moving on to the vocabulary- it was good. Except for the fact that you used the right words in the wrong places. Sentence constructions could be improvised too. In short, the way you put words together (their arrangement) to form sentences- this, along with inserting commas when necessary.

Characters & Development: 05/10

You are not to 'describe the characters' personalities' in the beginning you know? You're supposed to convey that through your writing style- which you didn't. I did not get the gist of any of the characters- which could be because of a lack of description. They were good, I guess? But definitely did not keep me thinking.

Total: 45/100

Final Note: Yeah, I'm not really one to beat around the bush. I don't really know how to sugarcoat my words, but, please do keep an open mind and work towards erecting the errors. Do not be discouraged. Take this as motivation. I suggest you take this book under a major editing session. Erect it all up especially the cover & just basically everything I mentioned above. Don't hesitate to hit me up if you have any queries or doubts ;)