CLN's Seasonal Reviews (CLOSED)

Lynn - by - katherinepgray

Reviewer: Taebaetae74

Cover: 04/05

The cover is good. But, it looks like it misses something, you know? I guess you could put the author's name on top? I don't see any other mishaps. Good job!

Title: 04.5/05

It was good! The idea of including the character's name in the title is appreciable. But I don't know . . . Lynn is kind of also not the main character, you get what I'm trying to say? Claire is. But the current one is good.

Synopsis: 08/10

It was good but had some errors. In the beginning, I think the minutes and seconds part is unnecessary. You mostly only mention them when someone has been actually counting on them- not in these kind of scenarios. Then, the perspectives need clarity. The whole of the synopsis was written third-person point of view; then in between, you wrote a sentence in first person POV. That's wrong.

You could've added some relevant body to the blurb, you know? It is good as of now, but it's still missing that entrancing element. Something that would draw more readers

Execution: 07/10

The execution was not bad. I just felt that you could've improvised your writing style. I've explained this under the writing style category. Other than that, there wasn't really anything that was wrong.

Plot: 17/20

The plot was good and well-executed- although at some points I felt like it was slightly lagged up at some points. Again, like the execution, the writing style also affected the plot. It did not come off as serious as it needed to be. Gave off slightly otherly vibes, I guess? Other than that, it was all good.

Writing Style: 15/20

The writing style needs a lot of improvement. If I'm being honest, when I read your book, I felt like I was reading angry text messages from a hormonal teenage girl. When you write, write formally. Avoid using phrases like 'I mean' etc. too often. I also feel that you give out unnecessary details when you write. When you talk about something (as in describing them) stick to the topic- make sure to not steer off track.

Other than that, I think you are doing well. You don't give out too much information, neither do you give too little. So all good.

Grammar & Vocabulary: 17/20

The grammar is good. Just a few slips of tenses. Stick to one tense and make sure that all sentences match up to it. You also have to work on sentence constructions. The way you form many sentences is a bit . . . primary. I'm not saying that all sentences should be extravagant and complex, but a couple of them here and there would do well.

Next, the punctuation. I think you use commas too lavishly. Make sure to use them only where they're needed.

Moving on to the vocabulary, it was not bad. Like I mentioned above, you could've improvised sentence construction- and that includes the words you used.

Characters & Development: 07/10

The characters were well executed actually. The way you've given each of them a spotlight is appreciable. Although you could've given more importance to other characters as well (as in, the ones who ain't the leads). Couldn't catch much on the development since I've only read a couple of chapters. But as far as I've read it, I liked it.

Total: 79.5/100

Final Note: I don't have anything much to say lol. Keep an open mind and think about editing out the errors. Don't hesitate to hit my DMs up if you have any queries regarding this review.