SBI Oneshots (technodad +others)

The Demigod of Chaos

"How the fuck do you lose a newborn demigod!"

~~~

Technoblade, the god of war, blood and harvest. A murderous piglin feared by most. A warrior that can kill armies with one swing of an axe. A cold-hearted killer that only associates himself with other gods and the bravest warriors. Even then they would battle to earn his respect. He's brought destruction in the form of war and destroying orphanages. Surely he has no heart to care for anyone.

"Daddy!"

"Hey sunshine, I missed you."

"Missed you too. Guess what I did!"

"What?"

The child wiggled out of his father's arms and grabbed his finger leading him to the kitchen where his babysitter was hanging on the wall. It looked like there was a fire at some point and there's a small monument made of canned corn in the center of the room. Techno smiled awkwardly and ripped the tape off the babysitter's mouth. The child giggled and looked up at the man innocently.

"He was playing with building blocks. In his playpen. I was just trying to make sandwiches." The child nodded along to what his sitter was saying.

"Foam blocks or wood blocks?"

"The fucking foam blocks. You need to start training him Tech. You don't even keep duck tape in your house!"

"Okay Skep. Whatever you say." The god rolled his eyes and started cutting the tape to free his friend. "You still free next week? I need to get more canned corn." The diamond man sighed and nodded. He glared at the child for a moment before falling to the floor. The little blond giggled and tried helping him up. Skeppy thanked him and returned to where the sandwich was still on a plate. He flipped it over and handed it to the child.

"There you go squirt. Jelly on top this time."

"T'ank you Skeppy." He nodded and waved to them as he left. Techno looked down and smiled at his son. "Samwich?" He shook his head and picked the boy up. "You need bandaids."

"I got more of insect ones you like." The child smiled and continued to eat his sandwich happily while being brought to the bathroom. Techno put him on the counter and pulled a small box out of a hidden pocket. The child washed his hands while the piglin stripped his shirt. The blond pointed to a new scar and listened to the story before putting a bandaid on it. It was their system.

"and this one I got fighting some cult leader that was taking over some kingdom up north." The kid looked at the small cut in awe before carefully putting a bee bandage on it. He pointed to a small scar on his face. "This one's from today. I was battling with Dream earlier." He laughed and gently put a moth over it. "It's true! He had it coming. I beat his ass."

"Daddy guess what."

"You know I don't like guessing games. What's up sunshine?"

"Tomorrow's my birfday!"

~~~

"Four years ago? They didn't die, I would know if they did! We can't just go around asking the gods if they have any secret children!"

"I don't see a problem with it. Especially with a demigod this powerful."

~~~