SBI Oneshots (technodad +others)

Im bored, this is funny, bing bong

A/N "Pebble what are you doing posting twice in one day?" shut up and enjoy it.  I like the idea that Tommy and Tubbo lied about their age to fight in the war

"So..." The general looked down at the paper then at the person in front of him. "How old are you?" The blond smiled and leaned back in his chair.

"Twenty years old, big man." The older man hummed and wrote something down before moving onto the next question. The blond effortlessly answered every question, exaggerating the truth on some but that for him to know.

"Do you have any past experience in battles or war?" He sighed and leaned back in his chair. He held his hand up and started counting on his fingers small fights and battles he'd been in.

"Oh! And I've fought an admin and Technoblade. Not at the same time of course and I had a few friends help but we did manage to kill the admin."

"Wait hold on. Technoblade?" The general looked him up and down and shook his head. "Sure kid. Okay. Welcome to L'Manberg." The general reached over the desk and shook his hand. "Wilbur Soot, and you are going to be very fun, I can tell."

"Tommy Innit."

~~~time skip

"We can call Technoblade." Tommy suddenly said. Wilbur looked up at the blond patching his wound. Tommy tied the bandages together and grabbed the rest of the healing potion to give to Wilbur. "He could help us."

"Tommy. We can't just call Technoblade. I know he would be a powerful ally but the most interaction I had with him was a tournament. We have no way of contacting him." The brunet drank the rest of the potion and gave the glass to Tommy to put away with the rest of the medkit.

"I mean, we could just send him a letter? It's not that hard." Tommy grabbed a book and quill ignoring Wilbur's sounds of protest and confusion. "Let's see... maybe he won't be mad if I make it brief and leave out all the details." He quickly wrote on a page with the nicest cursive Wilbur had ever seen. He looked at Tommy suspiciously. Did he grab the wrong one? The Tommy he knows can barely write in legible chicken scratch and don't get him started on the blonds cursive.

He grabbed a magic seel and rolled the letter. He addressed it to Technoblade, seriously, Technoblade, this kid is going insane. Wilbur truly couldn't have picked a more insane person to be his right hand man. Tommy quickly grabbed a flint and steel to light the letter ablaze. It vanished in a golden flame. "Oh? Hypixel? Strange. Last I heard, he was done with the whole potato war thing." Tommy spoke casually as if he hadn't just sent a letter to one of the most feared fighters across multiple realms. "Well we should probably make this place more comfortable if this is gonna be our base."

Wilbur pulled himself out of his shock and nodded. Together him and Tommy dug more into the hill. That is, until a bright green flame appeared and a letter, similar to the one Tommy had sent to Hypoxel, dropped into the stone. The ex-president looked at it, shocked. There's no way the Technoblade had actually responded to this random kids letter. But still, he watched as Tommy picked it up and dusted it off before reading it.

"I'll be back Wilba, I need to go to spawn."

~~~after going to spawn

Wilbur leaned against one of the walls of the ravine he had accidentally dug into. Tommy had been gone for a while now. He was starting to get worried. What if it wasn't actually Technoblade that responded? What if he got ambushed by Schlatt's people? What if it was just a trap? What if Tommy abandoned him and went to Schlatt's side?

"Oh my prime Wil! I can hear your thoughts from here! We're back big man!" He looked up as the cheery blond walked into the ravine followed by a pink-haired piglin. "I like what you did with the place." The piglin looked around and hummed. "Oh! Wilbur meet Technoblade!" The brunet looked the piglin up and down. It was clear he was strong and built for fighting. He looked no different from the few times Wilbur had seen him. Technoblade looked back at him and he was reminded why so many fighters were terrified of this man. He could probably kill Wilbur right now if he wanted to.

Instead Technoblade just nodded and started to walk around the ravine. Inspecting it. Tommy smiled innocently from beside him. It was like he was oblivious to everything that had happened that day. They lost an election, got kicked out of their own country, Wilbur got shot, they dug a hole into a hill, and now Technoblade of all people was looking around possibly debating if he should waste his time and help these pathetic people that couldn't fight back if they tried. And here Tommy fucking Innit was smiling as if it were any other day. The kid just lost his busy friend for primes sake and he was smiling!

"Tommy." A gruff voice startled Wilbur out of his thoughts. "We're still not done with that conversation." The blond groaned and stepped closer to Wilbur as if Technoblade wouldn't be able to snap him in half if he wanted to. "Don't give me that attitude. You ran away from the empire, joined a realm owned by Dream of all people, and created a country with this- this Hamilton copycat," Wilbur gasped in offense at that, "and didn't bother to write to me. I've been worried sick kid! I looked all over Hypixel, I looked all over the hardcore realms, I asked Deo, I even went back to 2b2t."

"Look, I-" Technoblade held his finger up instantly shutting Tommy up. Wilbur awkwardly stood next to the kid and stayed silent, deciding to not intervene.

"I was worried sick kid! You'll never know how worried I was!"

"Well you couldn't have been that worried if you had time to get into a war on Skyblock." Tommy mumbled into Wilburs shoulder. Technoblade sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"Next thing I know, some Hypixel admin is telling me I have a letter and I find out my son ran off to start a country with Philza's kid. Toms, you're not even old enough to fight in qn actually war. Prime, you turn sixteen and suddenly think you're old enough to leave home."

"Wait, son? As in, Tommy is your kid?" Wilbur looked between the fighter and the kid he thought he knew everything about. "Did you say sixteen?" Technoblade sighed and nodded. Wilbur fainted.