How to Date an Asshole

Chapter 42

Chapter 42

Silence seemed to be the theme after last night.

I didn't even know where he slept. I just saw him having breakfast with my aunt as if nothing has happened.

The day went by so fast and I felt like a breeze passing through a moment; as if my body was on auto-pilot.

I barely remember how I said goodbye to my family. My mind was occupied with other things, actually. For example, at how they treat Axel like he is a fine specimen to walk on earth; like we are so blessed to even breathe the same air as him. I can't blame them though. I, too, was once fooled by those eyes.

Well, not anymore.

So, I let them think he's the perfect little actor they all love and adore for one last time.

I don't have the heart to shatter their rose-colored glasses.

Innocence is bliss, as they say.

When the time came for Charlie to drop us off at the airport, I was itching to ask her to drive four more hours just to drop me off at a commercial one. Good thing, I realized how weird and suspicious it would seem if I did.

I know she would gladly oblige but that also means I'd have to face questions I'm not ready to answer. I just couldn't do it.

I dug my grave, now I gotta lie in it.

Seventeen hours.

Seventeen hours in a plane with Axel James.

How am I supposed to survive that?

It should be a YouTube challenge and I'd get a million dollars if I managed to not kill him. I think that's motivation enough to stop the urge to throw a shoe at his face.

I can't stand it.

I can't stand how close he is, yet I still can't see the reason why he lied that night at the gala.

If there's one thing I understood from our conversation last night, it's that the story about his lost sister was real. So why couldn't he defend himself that night?

I can't stand how whenever I see him, I'm more reminded of the hurtful things I've said than the hurtful things he's done.

I shouldn't feel bad for the things I've said because I've done it rightfully so. He deserves it. He has to know that what he does hurts people.

I can't stand him.

He is such a nuisance in my life.

My blood boils at the sight of him!

But as he's sat with his eyes closed on the other side of the plane, all I could see is the damaged boy – hurt and fragile – and this strong urge in my chest to come close, like a moth to a flame, and tell him everything's gonna be okay.

I shook the thought out of my head.

Yuck.

I must be out of my mind.

Yes, that's the only reason - I must be out of my mind because this isn't logical.

I shouldn't feel sorry for him. I was the aggrieved one.

He deserves the worst.

No, I shouldn't say that. I shouldn't wish ill of other people. I am just confused. This is normal guilt. I'm just not used to telling people off.

That's it!

Yes, that's it.

I tried to sleep it all off for the rest of the flight. But it's just too much time to sleep. And it didn't help that Axel kept on glancing my way as if he had something to say.