chris evans imagines ♡

lost love (pt 3)

Warnings: language

Steve Rogers Imagine

(This one is a little longer than the usual hehe)

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“The only way I could ever be peaceful is with you.”

You stood still, not being capable of understanding what you just heard and from who that voice belonged to.

In that split second, you thought you were going crazy, and that you had imagined his voice. 

You shook your head and continued to look at the trees. 

But what if it was him? Could it be possible that he stayed? 

After pondering for a few minutes, you turned around. Only to be disappointed when you saw nothing. It was just you and your heartbreak in the kitchen. 

You let out a long sigh and stepped outside of what used to be Tony’s home with his family. 

The cabin was incredibly comforting, and its location was extremely serene. 

After sitting on one step of the short wooden staircase, you closed your eyes and forced your body to stay still. Letting the soft, chilly breeze hit your skin. You breathed in and out slowly, trying to calm yourself so you wouldn’t cry. But it was of no use. You remembered the events of the night before and every single news bomb that was dropped on you as soon as you came back. It was too overwhelming.

Whenever you read a book and a character was sad, they would just breathe in and out to calm themselves. They would close their eyes and force their mind to think of something different from their pain. And it would actually work! They would start thinking of the ocean or mountains and completely forget about their problems, even if it was just for a little while. 

Now you knew it was all bullshit from the authors. 

Thinking of something else wouldn’t make you forget the pain you were currently feeling. It wouldn’t take away the tight feeling of your chest or how tired your eyes felt from crying. It wouldn’t take away the knot in your throat that hadn’t left since last night. And all those feelings, those emotions that had now given you physical pain, would remind you of every word that was spoken and every action that hurt you. 

Tears fell down your cheeks, and you didn’t even try to silence your sobs. You could care less if anyone heard you cry. 

It impressed everyone how unbothered you were. Nothing ever made you fazed or made you emotional. Over the years, that wall you had built got stronger. But after coming back from the snap, learning everything that happened, and Steve leaving you, that wall plummeted to the ground within seconds.

All that was left was a very broken version of you that no one else had seen. Not even yourself. 

You weren’t used to being emotional or to cry without caring about who listened. This was new for you. But it felt like it was all you needed. Every sob that escaped your lips took a piece of the suffocating feeling you had on your chest. 

Crying would probably make your eyes even heavier with tiredness, but it felt as if it was the only thing you could do right. 

You weren’t capable of stopping Thanos five years ago.

You weren’t there to stop Natasha from sacrificing herself. Or to stop Tony from doing the same.

And apparently you weren’t enough for Steve to stay in this timeline.

With your sweater sleeve, you wiped the snot that was coming down your nose and took a big breath. 

You heard heavy, slow footsteps behind you. 

Not now, Bucky. You thought.

The footsteps came closer and stopped beside you. He seated himself next to you and you could feel his eyes burning the left side of your face.

You didn’t even sneak a glance at him. You just turned your head to the right and rested it against your knees.

“Do you… hate me?” 

You knew it had to be Bucky, yet you kept imagining it was Steve’s voice.

“Y/n?”

Frustrated because you wanted to be alone, you turned to face him. “Bucky, can you just-”

You stopped mid-sentence, eyes as wide as saucers.

It wasn’t your imagination. He was actually there.

“I t-thought you left a while ago…” you muttered.

Steve gave you a soft smile. “I did. The stones are where they belong again.”

Your mind couldn’t comprehend what he was saying.

“What about Peggy?” You blurted out without thinking.

He took a deep breath, but his eyes never left yours. 

“When I thought of staying there, it was because I wanted peace. No more fights or wars. I just wanted to live a normal life. It wasn’t about Peggy specifically. Just the life that I could’ve had.”

You nodded, trying to take in this new information. 

“But after what you said last night, I remembered that my life wouldn’t be peaceful without you in it. I would think of you every day for the rest of my life, yet I wouldn't have been able to have you there with me.” His voice slightly cracked. “I love you, Y/n. Wherever you are, and whatever you do, my heart and soul will forever belong to you.”

Tears covered your vision, and the now familiar knot in your throat arose again. 

However, this time, joy and relief fueled those emotions. Not sadness. 

The love of your life wasn’t leaving you, after all. 

You could finally retire from being an Avenger and so could Steve. No more Captain America. Sam could take care of that. 

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You and Steve lived the normal, happy life you both deserved. Showing each other love every day. Even on the tough days, you got through it together and came out stronger.

Because no matter where you were, and what you did, your hearts and souls belonged to each other.

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Did you guys like part three?

Thank you for reading! <3