If Only Love ✔️

chapter twenty-eight

The next morning, I avoided May as much as I could. I knew she would try to bring the whole thing up but I wasn't ready or didn't even know what to say about it. I was feeling tired, the whole kiss kept playing in my head but I can't make sense of what's going on. I'm just putting my life together and have a daughter who needs me, I don't need things complicating everything I've worked hard to achieve.
"Mya" I turned towards the voice.
"yes mom"
"someone is here to see you. " I looked at her confused but she didn't say anything else. As I walked past her, she grabbed my arm. I looked at her.
"I'm here for you"
"mom, who's here to see me?"
"I will watch Kayla." with that she left me. I walked to the living room but no one was there. I then walked to the front door and opened. I was about to head back inside when I heard my name.
"Mya" oh no!
I had prayed for this day never to come and I had hoped that if it did I would have the strength. At this time, I didn't know if I could do this.
I slowly turned to the person, he was standing near the chairs on the porch.
"can we talk?"
The nerve! In my head I was already planning his funeral and the thousand ways I could kill him. But....
"not here"
"ummm maybe by the park like we used to"
"don't. We can talk but don't make such references like its a game." he just nodded and I turned to go back inside to get my coat and tell mom I was going somewhere.
"mom, I will be back." she stood up and walked towards me. Behind her, aunty Kay seemed to have a look of worry.
"will you be okay?" mom asked.
"I will mom. Don't worry I'm not going anywhere "
I knew she was thinking of how I ran away but I'm a big girl now. I guess it was time to face my past.
~~~~~~~••••~~~~~~~~
I sat down by the bench and made sure to leave enough space between us. Call me petty but I didn't want him touching me.
"you've changed" he started.
"I've grown up." I said harshly.
I heard him sigh. "why didn't you tell me?"
I turned towards him. "are you serious?"
" Mya, I'm just trying to understand that I had a daughter I didnt know about. I'm her father"
I laughed dryly. "you are one big fool! Her father! You! You lost that right when you made a decision to make my life into a game."
"mya... "
"no, now it's my turn to talk. You spoke volumes all those years back. I trusted you and like a fool you knew I had a crush on you. Instead of respecting the relationship between our parents or" I dramatically lifted my hands "like I thought you were my best friend. You could have just let me down. Over and over you chose Bailey but guess what she does to you what you did to me."
"did." I looked at him confused.
"what?"
"what she did. She left me for the life of the party. She actually never even acted like a mother, care for our daughter. There were rumors about her still playing the field. So she left."
I did feel bad for him but I guess karma truly serves her dishes cold.
"that's not my point." I breathed out heavily. "look, I'm sorry that your daughter has to pay for what her parents did. I thought I loved you. I told you I loved you but it was all a game. You visited in college, making me believe you atleast respected me as a girlfriend. What was your plan? Keep me as mistress?" I gave another dry laugh.
"the day I saw you propose, was a day you broke me. I have never felt my heart actually break but that day I felt it. Then to have a miscarriage was worse so much worse. I felt like a failure, like I wasn't good enough. When all the fighting around me and your wife started to tease me."
"ex wife" he cut me off.
"I don't care. When your wife started to be a bitch she is, I was shattered. I mean you married the witch must be something about her. Anyway, I ran away and was a shell of myself. But you know what gave me hope?" I didn't wait for an answer, I continued. "knowing I still had a life inside of me. Not because you were a donor but because I knew I was meant to be strong. I prayed every night for the baby to survive as I hadn't really taken necessary measures for the pregnancy. Everyday was a struggle when she was born. She was weak and needed extra care. When things started becoming better, I was thankful to everyone who was there for us. I missed my family but I couldn't come back because I was scared you would take my only strength"
"I can never do that" he tried to defend himself. I looked at him harshly.
"do I? Do I? Huh.... You were willing to do anything for your witch. With so much live and help, I am strong and I will warn you right now. Come after my daughter and I will fight you with everything in my being! You are a coward and that is MY daughter! "
"Mya I would never take her from you. I would just like to get to know her. She has a sister and I just want to do better by my daughters. I know I don't deserve it but I'm begging you to not punish her for my mistakes. The ball is in your hands."
"I don't think I'm ready for that. It's me and her, just because she has your blood don't mean you need to be in her life." I stood up. "and push me because you don't deserve my forgiveness. I'm sorry about your marriage and your daughter growing like that but I'm making my own path."
I didn't wait for an answer, I just left. My heart was beating so fast. The rush of emotions I was feeling was something that I don't think I've ever felt.

Later that night, I was sitting in the backyard with a glass of wine and a bottle by my side. I was still thinking about today and everything that happened. A part of me knew that I was allowed to think about myself and a part of me wondered if I was too hush. I remember seeing Kayla as Lexi giggled or tried to call Xander da.
"can I join?" I looked up and saw May raise an empty glass at me.
"of course" I smiled at her. She sat next to me and filled her glass.
"what's on your mind? I know you don't want to talk what I didn't see last night."
"what did you see?" she just laughed.
"talk to me."
"he came to see me today. I don't know if I can call what we had a talk but I spoke my mind. But I keep thinking I was mean."
" look. I don't want to repeat what happened last time. I'm sorry about that."
"May... "
"please let me finish." I nodded. "last time things went bad, I wasn't the best sister I should have been. I should have been by your side like you had been for me. Whatever I was going through can't be an excuse. One thing I can tell you is that what I see right now is a grown woman. One who is an amazing mother to a beautiful little girl. Society will give you a thousand opinions but the one that matters the most is what you feel is right for you. If you decide to allow him to be part of her life, that's okay and it doesn't mean that he has to be part of yours. If you don't then it's still fine. Give it time and I'm sure you will decide. It's soon."
I thought about what she said. I guess she was right.
"so he says it's over with Bailey."
"after you left, she really showed her true colors. She hated the fact that we all live too close to each so she made him find a house abit far from here. When Lexi was born, she never had any motherly bone in her and left everything for Xander to do. With time it started to take a toll on him. Then she started cheating on him, even to a point where she stopped hiding  it. One day, she told him she was leaving and she did."
"that's sad."
"it is but that's life."
We remained outside drinking and catching up. It was late at night when we decided to go to bed.

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Hey readers,
I hope you enjoyed the chapter. What do you think will happen next?
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Love Jean 💕