If Only Love ✔️

chapter thirty-five

Miguel's pov

I woke up quite late this morning, being a Saturday I could sleep in. I had nothing much planned for today except a few hours with Kayla, which would be the highlight of my day and then spend part of the evening with Pat. I got out of bed and did my morning routine, I changed to some gym clothes and packed a bag with some clothes I would wear after. I wanted to go straight to see my favorite little girl, she always made me feel better with her innocent hugs,little kisses with her little laughter. I swear all I think of when she does that is I want to protect her from the evil of the world. I picked up my phone and slipped it into my pocket and headed to the gym.
After putting my things in a locker, I pulled out my phone and saw a notification of a voicemail.
Voicemail: hey Miguel. I know you will be shocked that I sent this voicemail. * deep breath* I am nervous but this had to be done. (she takes a deep breath and stays silent for a few seconds then continues)
I just discovered that I'm blind like literally. For the longest time, all I saw was Xander. I wanted him to love me so much that I was so oblivious to my surroundings. I never saw the person who cleaned up my messes and protected me even from the very person I saw. I never thought of his feelings and I hurt him every step of the way. I was so into my own world that most of the time (laughs)  well all the time it was about me. I never thought of asking him how he felt. Then like the selfish person I am, I ran away from home. It was the best decision for me and I don't regret leaving because it made me stronger, one of the things I regret is not letting this person be there for me. He looked for me, I mean took time from his life to try to find me and even when he did, I was blind. So many times he showed me that he loved me and even told me he liked me. I needed the time to grow and I am sorry it took me this long to really know where my feelings were at. I am so sorry for hurting you continuously for years. I wish I could take it back but I can't and it's too late. You have found someone who seems to really have feelings for you and you her. I only wish I could have been the girl who got the guy but life has other plans. I won't lie, I did think of leaving and giving you the peace. But then I remembered you saying I would use my daughter to hurt you and I wouldn't go through with it. There are so many people I would hurt. Mostly Kayla, you make my baby happy and I'm thankful. I fear the day you never show up because you found love and have your own family then forget her. I am choosing to believe you wouldn't hurt her despite my fears. I'm so sorry Miguel. For me to heal too, I have to let you go so you can be happy. If I avoid you, don't be mad. I'm trying, really trying to let you be happy. (cry/laughs) as cliché as it sounds, I want you to be happy even if it's not with me. I think I will officially end here for I can cry it out. This has been so hard to make. When we see each other, I will smile at you and not speak of this mail because that will be my sign that I'm happy that you are.
End of voicemail.

Somewhere in between listening to the voicemail, I had sat down on one of the benches in the locker room. I kept looking at my phone and replayed the mail a couple of times before what she was saying sunk in. I quickly grabbed my things and left the gym with one destination in mind.
                  ~~~~~~•••~~~~~~
I was banging on the door for someone to answer. It took a couple of minutes of me banging before someone opened the door.
"Miguel?"
"where is she?" I said as I forced my way in. I heard the door close behind me.
"well hello aunty. How are you? I was looking for her?" she said eyeing me.
I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry aunty Kay. I just really need to talk to Mya."
"well she went to the store but should be back at any time. So you guys are talking now."
I rubbed the back of my neck. "no. Yes. Okay I don't know"
Before she could answer the door opened.
"aunty Kay! I'm back! " she entered the living while talking about how she picked up some magazines for dresses. It was until my little someone said dada that she looked up. She stood looking at me for some time and I could tell from her eyes that she had truly spent some time crying.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were visiting. I will give you guys some privacy." she quickly walked away as I held the little princess in my arms. I felt a slap at the back of my head.
"ouuuu. What was that for?" I said looking at aunty Kay. Kayla was enjoying the show as she was giggling.
"why did you do that? I heard her last night and I also heard her cry herself to sleep. Just talk to her. She's made so many mistakes but she's been working on herself. She has every right to go away with Kayla... "
"what... "
"hush. Look Kayla may not be yours biologically but you have shown her more love. Just like she has created a bond with you more than her father. You are an amazing young man just as Mya is an amazing young woman but you are both too stubborn and at the moment prideful. So if you don't want to be together, be civil. You have been friends since diapers and have a child clearly keeping you together. So just talk to each other." she got up, picked Kayla from my arms and started walking away. She stopped and looked at me, " I don't need you two acting like kids at my wedding." she turned and left.
Wait! What wedding? Ken proposed? Okay those questions would have to wait.
I knocked on her door and heard permission to enter from the other side.
She looked up from her computer.
"is there a problem with Kayla?"
"no. I was wondering if we could talk."
She looked nervous but she nodded and signaled me to sit. She then set her things aside.
I took a deep breath and started.
"I listened to your voicemail."
"ya and I meant every word. I'm so sorry I hurt you and in my process to analyze things I kept hurting you. It also took me so long to realize that I also have feelings for you."
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I opened them, she was looking at me and I could see her pain and hurt.
"it's too late" I whispered because I felt I couldn't breath. Her eyes were glassy with tears.
"I know" she choked on her words. "that's why I sent that voicemail."
"I waited. I gave you my heart and everything and you pushed me away." her tears fell. I wanted to reach for her and wipe them away but I held myself.
"I know."
"and it's too late."
"I know." she was literally crying and looking away. I got up and kissed her forehead.
"I'm sorry"
"me too" she replied. When I reached the door,i spoke without turning. "I can never hurt Kayla and she will always be my number princess no matter what." I opened the door and left while I heard a rasp.
"I know".

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Hey readers,
How was the chapter? Was a little hard to write but hope I did good on it.
What do you think on the turn of events?what do you think will happen next?
Don't forget to vote, comment, share, and follow.
Love Jean 💕