If Only Love ✔️

chapter thirty-six

Miguel's pov

I closed her door and could hear her crying. I should feel better about everything,right? Then why did I feel like someone stabbed my heart over and over again. A part of me was telling me to go back in there and make things better but I didn't know what the right thing was. Before I did something I regretted, I left and went home.
As I sat down with the TV making some noise in the background, yet all I could see was her hurt and I felt like a fool for been the cause of her pain. I didn't mean to hurt her but whenever I find someone, it's like that's when she needs me more. There is Pat and I don't want to hurt her too.  She is a sweet girl and deserves a chance from me as I her. I want Mya happy too but at this point I can't keep them both happy. So I went for someone who has shown me that she likes me. At this point I just feel like I'm locked in a small space and I can't breath. 
The sound of a knock is what brought me out of my thoughts. I got up and opened the door only to meet one angry mama.
"aunty Kay." she pushed me and came into the house.
"if I knew you would end up hurting her, I wouldn't have allowed you to talk to her. What were you thinking?!she's a mess! Gosh! You kids are worse than I thought!"
"can you calm down."
"calm down! Calm down!are you crazy?!"
"aunty Kay, please." she gave me a pointed look then huffed and sat down.
"I didn't mean to hurt her."
"then why did you?"
"every single time, I have given myself to her, she has pushed me away. The one time I seem happy with another girl and she tells me she loves me. "
"do you love Pat?"
I just kept quiet. "you both have a lot to figure out. But do it fast because you will end up punishing Kayla who just loves you both. Mya's fears may come true because of your stupid pride, both of you. And your fear might cost you. I will see you at my wedding."
She got up and opened the door. "Patricia?" I looked up and saw Pat standing at the door.
"hey"
"hey. I was just leaving." with that she left.
Pat turned to me with a smile and walked towards me. "hey" she said then gave me a kiss.
"hey. How long were you at the door?"
"not long. Why?"
"nothing."
I looked myself in the home office for the rest of the day.
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The past two months, have been really sh*tty. I still dunno what I'm doing and it's like a part of me is missing. I still go and visit Kayla. I have tried to steal even one glance at Mya and she's doing a good job hiding. Moreover, aunty Kay is doing a good job at making sure that I don't see her.
The wedding is next weekend and I'm traveling a week early. I think helping out will keep me sane. I just need some time to think. Pat hasn't been making things easy for me too. She complains that I don't give her attention and to make it worse since that day I haven't had s*x with Pat. She has tried to make the first move and so have I but at the end of it all, I couldn't go through with it. I see it's taking a toll on her as well as our relationship. So I do need this time to think.

I was sitting by the porch at my parents house when mom sat next to me.
"hey son."
"hey mom." she held my hand.
"what's going on? You seem distant and different?"
"it's nothing mom."
"please talk to me. Since you came back, you left my son somewhere else and I dunno who came back home."
"I'm confused."
"why?"
I told her everything that happened that day and some of the minor things that led to it. She listened to every word I said. When I was done, she was quiet for a few minutes then spoke.
"I don't blame either of you because you both need to know yourselves before you can love someone else. She hurt you but did she do it by choice? And also you know what she has been through. That's alot for a girl that young at the time. Not only was she going through her own insecurities but she had to fight them under pregnancy hormones. Which from the experience of being hormonal, isn't an easy thing. Some women also pass through post pregnancy depression. Now I'm not defending but I'm trying to make you understand that she too had too much on her plate and she's been scared. Maybe she could have handled it differently, I dunno but from what I see, she deserves love and patience from the man she ends up with. And you if it's Pat you want, you need to make things right or do the right thing. She's a sweet girl, don't hurt her."
She sat next to me the whole time and we talked about everything and anything. Tomorrow was the wedding and I was nervous.

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I was getting dressed when Pat walked in.
"hey"
"hey. " we were both quite. I spoke first.
"can we talk after the wedding?"
"okay."
"ummm let me just get ready."
"okay. I will be outside. "
☺

We walked into the church and that's when I saw her. She looked so beautiful. She was wearing royal blue tight fitting dress that reached just above her knees. She was laughing and she looked beautiful. I missed her. She was standing next to her parents. She looked up and the moment our eyes locked, her smile disappeared. My heart dropped. She bent down and whispered something to Kayla who looked up and smiled. Then ran to me. I kneed down and gave her a hug and a kiss.
"can we please sit?" I heard Pat ask. I nodded and lifted Kayla who started telling me about her hair and her princess dress. 
The ceremony went by and I kept stealing glances at Mya but she kept avoiding my eyes. I tried to do it unnoticed. The service was over and I don't remember a single thing from there. Pat turned to me.
"can we please talk in private?"
I made sure I left Kayla with the parents then walked to a private area to talk.
"I saw you looking at her." I felt terrible. I was suppose to be here with her yet she saw that.
"I'm so sorry Pat."
"no lemme talk. I suspected you had feelings for her but I hoped you could fall for me. I heard everything aunty Kay said that day and she's right you need to fight for her. You love her Miguel and will always love her. Fight for her."
"I'm so sorry. You are an amazing woman and I never meant to hurt you. I do like you but maybe I should have been more considerate that I would hurt you. I'm so sorry"
"you are an amazing guy too. Maybe one day we can be friends again. I should go and you should go after her."
"please stay."
"it's best I go." she hugged me and left. I watched her leave. Maybe one day we could be friends because she is an amazing person but I wouldn't blame her if she chose not to. I did hurt her.

I went back to everyone as the reception started. I tried moving close to Mya but she was doing a dumb good job at running away. Once everyone started to mingle, I got caught up talking to some old workmates. When I moved, I couldn't see her anywhere. I started asking if anyone had seen her. I was told she was in the garden.

I stood far but close enough to hear what was been said. I was standing behind a pillar as she was standing there talking to Xander. I stood there in shock as I listened to what was been said. It was when she was about to walk back to the party that she saw me.
"Miguel"

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Hey readers,
So the last chapter was unexpected for everyone and wanted to keep you in the dark for a few more chapters  but decided to end the torture 😂. So what do we think of this one and what was been said? Will she fall for Xander's charm?
Don't forget to vote  comment, share, and follow.
Love Jean 💕