Jinkook World

Heart Notes

Just Seokjin's letters to his favorite partner-in-crime, his best friend, his guardian angel, his Kookie.

This is a snippet of Seokjin's life after Jungkook donated his heart to him in Heartbeat. No need to read Heartbeat but it would make more sense if you guys visit it hehe.

Warning: a bit angsty :D

October 13

Good evening, Kookie.

It's been months since you left me. It was Spring when you departed and since then it has been Winter in my heart. I am beyond bored here in my hospital room, counting the brown leaves that had fallen from the old tree that we used to climb until we were ordered to come down by Nurse Ji then have us drink the green juice for a week. The room is so big and quiet without you. I always stare at the door wishing you'll come in any moment.

But you didn't.

I don't think I'll ever get used to your absence.

Love,
Jinnie

December 4

Good morning, Kookie.

It's been seven months since you gave me the most precious thing you could ever give and I am still quite bummed that you gave it to me literally. I guess this would count as your birthday present so consider yourself forgiven. Your family celebrated my birthday with me. I know you did too even though I can't see you. I keep losing track of time and I don't want to label the days nor the years in the calendar sometimes because it seems as if I am counting the days up to when I'll leave this world. I hope you'll meet me with your loud voice again when the time comes.

I miss you more each day.

Love,
Jinnie

P.S. Your dog, Gureum, is so lovely. I think he recognized his owner's heart because he barked and licked my face when I crouched down and stroked his fur.

December 30

Good afternoon, Kookie.

I just came back from the hospital to visit our friends before the New Year. It's very cold here. I hope you stay warm wherever you are. I played chess with grandpa Jong and I won. He said I am better than you. You must be sulking because I beat him. We never got the chance to play together. Hopefully in the next life...we will.

Love,
Jinnie

P.S. Auntie Kim still narrates the same stories again and again.

February 18

Hello, Kookie.

I apologize for not writing. I've been busy preparing for college entrance exams. Guess what? I was accepted in Korea University's Department of Music. It's gonna be a huge adventure and I have promised to go on a lot of adventures for you. I think you'll gonna be a great artist if only you had the chance to attend the university. We could've gone together and it'll be fun. Auntie Kim got discharged from the hospital a month ago. She gave me a knitted scarf with an adorable rabbit as a gift for passing the admissions test. It reminds me of you. I wish my bunny is here with me.

Love,
Jinnie

P.S. I played the song that we danced to for my admissions test. It felt like you were playing the piano with me. I know you were silently supporting me, Kookie.

March 9

Good morning, Kookie.

I'm gonna attend the freshmen's orientation for Department of Music later. This week has been quite hectic but everything has been fun so far. I met a lot of friends and they all seemed kind and energetic except for one who likes to take naps all the time and the other one who's not really energetic but is very philosophical. I like them after I met them and I'm pretty sure you'll gonna love them too. I think you and Taehyung will get along very well. I was surprised to know that the sweet talker Uncle Han was a professor here in university. He's still a womanizer though. I saw a female professor rolled her eyes on him. I wish you are here with me in this adventure. I wish you're here with me to experience the fun.

Love,
Jinnie

September 1

Hello, Kookie.

Happy birthday, my lovely bunny. I wish I could hug you right now. I miss you with each passing minute. I want to be where you are right now but this beating heart of yours is a reminder that I shall live to take you to a lot of adventures with me. I celebrated your birthday with your family. My mom taught me how to bake a cake. It was my first time but I hope you liked it. By the way, I blew the candle in your behalf. You know what I wished for? I wished for our heart to be strong so that you and I can live longer and see the world together. You're my second life, my guardian angel, my dear bunny Kookie. I'll always love you to the moon and back.

Love,
Jinnie

P.S. My mom was confused as to why I brought a bouquet of roses to your grave. I just laughed. I'm still annoyed that you said I looked like the rose bushes in Alice in Wonderland.

September 12

Good evening, Kookie.

I visited the hospital again. My cousin gave birth to a young girl. I'm gonna be an uncle soon. Nurse Ji cried again when she saw me but this time I saw happy tears. She said she was happy to see me do the things that I wanted. It saddens me though because half of the things I wanted to do, I want to do them together with you. The cartoon characters that we draw on the wall were still there. I still can't believe that you took all the blame for me when we both drew them together. Before I went home, I asked Nurse Ji for a glass of green juice. She just laughed at me when I cringed. Now I know how it tastes like. You always grab my glass and gulp it down when Nurse Ji was not looking. Thank you for everything, Kookie. It's my time to do everything for you now.

Love,
Jinnie

P.S. I suggested a name for my niece. I even joked that my niece, her children and, grandchildren will have a part of my name "Jin" in theirs. I was just kidding but my cousin took it seriously.

October 13 (a year later)

Hello, Kookie.

It's been a year since I started this journal. A lot has changed but at the same time everything still felt the same. I still miss you everyday but it's not that painful anymore. I know you're happily watching over me. The doctor said my condition is good but he always tells me that I should not stress myself too much. I still cry at times when I miss you though. I know I don't have a long life to live but this is the second life that you given me so I'm gonna take care of our heart for the both of us. By the way, I saw your name carved on the garden bench where we used to hang out together. Also, Nurse Ji will have a baby boy soon. She said she wanted to name it after you or have a part of your name in her son's name. I have to go now, Kookie. I promised to take Gureum for a walk.

Love,
Jinnie

P.S. I showed Soojin, my niece, some of your drawings and she was in awe. I always tell her stories about you. I'm gonna tell her more of her uncle Jungkook.

Annyeonghaseyo yeorobun!!!

This has been in my mind after I wrote Heartbeat. It felt like there was little to none closure in Seokjin's part and I am a sucker for letters and replies hehe.

Maybe I finally decided to write this after losing a loved one. It hurts but we must live.

To anyone who's hurting right now, let me give you a big hug. I love you, you know that.

Stay safe always :)))

- Meesa