𝓢𝔂𝓶𝓹𝓱𝓸𝓷𝔂 || Marauders

Heather

I've never loved being the center of attention and I've never wanted to steal any attention from anyone, but lately, I'm not so sure if that's the case anymore.

I don't mean it in a rude way or anything. Hopefully it's not in a jealous way either, but I can't help it.

Sirius and I were on and off for months at the start of the school year, and we officially started dating about a month ago, but I already feel like his feelings for me are fading slightly. Or perhaps that they were never even really there to begin with.

Before hanging out with all of our friends today, Sirius gave me his sweater. It was a black, polyester crew neck, and he said it looked better on me than it did him. Wearing it felt odd though, and I wasn't sure why. It smelled like him, and I liked that, but there was just something about it that felt weird.

Then once we got to the common room, and I saw everyone there, I realized what it was. I had seen Remus wearing the sweater before.

Was it Remus' sweater? Did Remus give it to him and then Sirius just gave it away? Do they share clothes? If so, is it because they're friends or do they do it like a couple? Maybe they just owned matching sweaters. No, that's ridiculous.

So many thoughts started racing through my head the second I realized what was wrong with the sweater. But we were hanging out with all of our friends, and I didn't want to make a scene on something that could be as simple as two friends sharing clothes. So I put on a brave face and faked a smile.

"I share clothes with Lily and Marlene." I tried telling myself, even though that didn't help at all.

I watched Sirius' eyes the rest of the night, and realized the person he looked at most wasn't me, it was him. It was Remus.

What a sight for sore eyes, brighter than a blue sky, that Remus. He's got Sirius mesmerized as I die.

"That's a nice sweater." Remus told me about half an hour after we got here.

"Oh, thanks." I said. "It's Sirius'."

"I know."

He knows. "I know.", what does that mean? Maybe Remus was hinting at something, like that it was actually his, or that he bought it for Sirius.

Shit. My mind was moving at a mile a minute, and I couldn't stop. They definitely share clothes, right? Perhaps Sirius and Remus were more than I had ever thought.

Why would Sirius ever kiss me? I mean, I'm not even half as pretty as Remus. I mean, the sweater is just polyester, but I think he likes Remus better.

As the night goes on, I notice Sirius strays away from me. Although, I can't tell if this was something new or if I had just never noticed it before. I could feel myself getting colder throughout the night because Sirius hadn't been near me as I had expected he would be.

I watched him all night. I watched them all night. Sirius laughed at all of Remus' jokes, and looked at him all night in ways I don't think he's ever looked at me. If I'm being honest, it scared me. Yet, I still somehow kept on a fake smile for the entire time.

Over the course of a single night, I had watched my boyfriend and realized that he may not even be mine. I noticed him being completely mesmerized by his best friend.

But how could I blame Sirius? How could I blame Remus? How could I hate him? He's such an angel. But then again, I kinda-

No. It's not his fault. It's alright.

I just, I wish I were Remus.

a/n: I told y'all it would turn angsty real quick. Technically, this chapter is mostly fluff/filler, but it's setting up A LOT of angst and some big actual plot stuff coming soon.

Also, I wasn't sure if I wanted to post this chapter today since it's kind of rushed and I don't love it, but today is Ben Barnes' and Andrew Garfield's birthday so I figured that I should put something out today.

And by the way, I should warn y'all that I am a Wolfstar shipper, and there's definitely going to be some Wolfstar content in this story, as you can see from this chapter. But, it'll be fine, no matter what you ship. You'll see what I mean at the end, I guess.