Marauders × fem oc Rose Duskridge | inspired by songs
Rose Duskridge is a year 6 Gryffindor who started at Hogwarts a year ago, learning to navigate life alongside her friends, the Marauders. But, when she learns about the intricate web of relatio...
"Well at least it's not Snivellus." James joked, causing the rest of us to laugh.
Although I love Lily, I like it when she's not around sometimes so we can all joke around about Snape.
"Too bad it's still James, though." I said.
"Wow, Duskridge coming in hot. Ouch." James laughed.
"Oh, don't worry, I'm just kidding. Sort of."
"Tsk tsk." James shook his head, pretending to be upset. "Insulting me in my own room. So rude."
"Well, I would do it more, but I've got to go back to my own room now."
"It's like, barely 11 o'clock." Peter said.
I hesitated, contemplating whether I should stay or not. Peter was right, it's only 11, and that's not too late.
"Yeah, but Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas are waiting for me." I said. "Good night, you guys."
I kissed Sirius on the cheek, then stood up, and started to walk out of the boys' dorm.
I could hear Remus giving Sirius a not so subtle nudge, then Sirius spoke up.
"Do you want me to walk you back to your room?" He asked.
"Sure." I said with a smile.
He stood up, and walked towards me. He opened the door and let me go first, such a gentleman. Unfortunately, all my thoughts about him lately weren't terribly positive. I wasn't necessarily upset at Sirius, but more our relationship as a whole.
We were falling out of love, and apparently everyone knew it.
The walk back to my dorm wasn't particularily a chatty one, and when we did talk, it was mostly short comments and small talk. Once we got back to my room, we stopped just outside the door and I kissed Sirius on the cheek again, but I stopped him before he turned around.
"Sirius, I," I muttered. "I'm tired."
"Then go to sleep." He laughed, confused at what I said.
"No, I mean..." I said, starting to cry. "I mean I'm tired of us."
"What?"
"I mean like, I feel like we're just stalling at this point. Do you disagree?"
"Rose, you can't be-"
"Do you disagree? Surely, you can't be foolish enough to think that everything is great and that we're perfect."
Sirius sighed and looked down at me, his eyes beginning to fill with tears.
"I don't disagree, but I think we can just get past whatever this is right now, and we can become great."
"Sirius, no. You're distracted and I'm jealous and insecure and we can't talk to each other. It won't work. Every time we try to get better, it just makes things worse. It's always one step forward and three steps back." I told him, even though the amount of pain saying those words out loud caused me was excruciating.
"We can make it work. If we both try."
"But, we can't communicate and I can't read you. Do you love me, want me, hate me? I don't understand."
"I love you. I promise, Rose." Sirius said, taking my hand and holding it in his.
"And I love you too. That's why I'm telling you now. I can't just wait around for us to fall out of love completely, it'll kill me. I'm so sorry."
By now I was practically sobbing, and I could barely get a whole sentence out without my voice breaking. Sirius' eyes had welled up with tears as he tried to convince me to stay. Seeing him like that was part of why I was crying so hard. I hate seeing him sad, but I know he would just be more sad if he stayed with me.
"I understand." He said. "If you really think it's what's best for us, then who am I to try to convince you otherwise? If you did stay, I promise you, I would try my absolute hardest to be the best person for you, but I can see it's too late. I'm sorry."
"I really do love you, Sirius, but we're just not right for each other and it's been starting to show."
He leaned in and hugged me. The kind of hug that's so warm and comforting that for a moment, I almost forgot what was going on.
"It's okay. I love you too."
Sirius broke away from me, and started to walk away, then I stopped him for one final goodbye.
"Good night." I said, keeping it simple so I wouldn't break down the moment I said it.
"Good night, Rose." He turned around and made his way back to his dorm.
I stayed and watched him walk away until he was almost out of sight. I tried to dry my tears before I went inside to my dorm, but I knew it would be pointless.
"Rose, what happened?" Marlene asked me with a concerned look that hit her face the moment I opened the door.
I couldn't even let a single word out. I doubt that her and Lily didn't know, but the moment she asked what was wrong, I collapsed onto her bed in tears.
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a/n: So this was a super fkn sad chapter... I definitely cried while writing it, and I kind of hope y'all were upset readng it too to be honest.
This chapter basically marks a halfway point in the story, both length and development wise. From here, I can just say it won't be super plot-focused, and it'll be more focused on characters and their relationships, but it'll still be good, I can guarantee that.
Anyways, vote and comment if you feel like this chapter is worthy of it, and stay tuned for more updates soon!
