Marauders × fem oc Rose Duskridge | inspired by songs
Rose Duskridge is a year 6 Gryffindor who started at Hogwarts a year ago, learning to navigate life alongside her friends, the Marauders. But, when she learns about the intricate web of relatio...
It was almost midnight. Marlene and Dorcas were both asleep, but not me. The moonlight poured onto me, and I could feel Lily lying awake all alone as well. Our beds are right next to each other, so I knew she was up, just like me.
I turned around to face Lily's bed, and saw that she was indeed awake, staring at the ceiling. She always does that when she can't sleep but she doesn't know why.
"Are you still up too?" I asked, even though I obviously knew the answer.
"Yeah" Lily said.
"What's keeping you up?" I whispered.
"I don't know. I think it was the sugar from the jelly slugs. You?"
"How much time do you have?" I asked with a soft giggle.
Lily turned herself so she was facing my bed now. She looked me in the eyes and shrugged. "All night, I guess."
"Really?" I asked her.
The two of us paused when we heard a ruffle of the sheets from Marlene's bed, but then realized it was only Marlene tossing and turning in her sleep.
"Yeah." Lily said quietly. "What's on your mind?"
I paused for a second. Not to be quiet after hearing a noise again, but to think about where to start the story from.
Should I start it all the way from back at home? I only realized now that I hadn't really told anyone the story of us getting together. Should I just start from the incident with the sweater? Or maybe I should only tell her the basic details of what's going on.
"Um," I started. "I think I'm losing Sirius."
She looked suprised at me. Perhaps it was my bluntness or just the idea itself. I'll admit, I was a bit shocked about it too. Shocked that I could admit it for real after dwelling on the idea for so long. Shocked that I could even say it out loud without immediately breaking down into a fountain of tears.
"What?" She asked me.
"I told you it would take a while." I joked, but Lily didn't seem very amused.
She just seemed concerned. She was very much a mother to me, so it was fitting. She's always concerned about me and the rest of our friends, but this was different. It wasn't just worried for our safety or something, she seemed sad and sympathetic. If I weren't already talking about a sad subject, the look on Lily's face any other day would have ruined my night.
"I just," I could feel myself starting to choke up as I continued speaking. "I think he's in love with Remus, and I think he's just losing feelings for me."
"What do you mean?" She asked softly.
I became aware again that it was midnight and that we weren't alone in the room, so I lowered my voice from the high, emotional tone I was using a second ago.
"It sounds ridiculous, I know, but like he's always paying attention to Remus over me, and Regulus says that everyone else has noticed it too. And I mean, if it's wrong, and I and everyone else who has noticed it is wrong, then I might be stressing over nothing but I doubt that's possible."
"Have you talked to Sirius about this?"
"I did." I said. "But I think that just made it worse. Like I pointed out something he hadn't thought about before, and it just made him think about it too, but not in the same way as me."
I stopped talking for a moment. I took a sharp inhale and then exhaled slowly, trying to stop myself from becoming a blubbering mess. After I took a breath and wiped a tear from under my eye, I kept talking.
"And the thing is, when we got together, we built our relationship on what was already shaky ground." I told her. "And then we went back to school, and it felt like everything changed. And we build our relationship just to pull it down. Because I can feel it coming down. Everything is falling apart, and I just can't save us."
Lily looked at me with that empathetic, worried look on her face. And I looked back at her with tears flooding in my eyes.
"I'm jealous and I'm confused and I'm exhausted." I confessed. "And I'm just so fucking scared, Lily."
She got up from her bed, slowly and carefully, as she was trying not to be too loud. She walked the few feet to my bed, and she hugged me tightly. I rested my head on her shoulder for a moment. Then I pulled away slowly.
"Thank you for that." I said quietly.
"I'm here for you, and we're going to figure this out together. Okay?" She said.
"Thank you." I said. "But can we figure it out tomorrow morning? I'm finally getting tired."
She let out a quiet laugh, then smiled at me.
"Alright. Good night, Rose." She said, heading back to her own bed.
"Goodnight, Lily."
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a/n: Hey, sorry for the delay with this chapter. In hindsight, I probably should have left the last chapter while I wrote this one, but whatever, this one is here now. I hope you liked this one and I'll try to upload more, but I'm going back to school soon and I'm going to start writing the Regulus story I mentioned a while back, so Symphony chapters may come a little later than usual for. Thanks for reading, I'll be back soon :)
