✧Xie Lian- Not Him✧

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YOU KNEW THAT Xie Lian had lost someone close to him years ago. Although he didn't speak much about it, it was obvious. Sometimes, you felt as if he mistook the person he loved all those years ago to you, the person he loved now. It hurt your heart to even think about being mistaken for another person, much more another person that your boyfriend loved. But you loved him, so you stayed quiet about this issue, although it broke your heart when you heard him reminiscing out loud about- 'the young man who stole my heart away' and 'my flowery prince in crimson robes.'

One night, Xie Lian gave you permission to sleep in his room with him. He said that he had been having terrible nightmares lightly and that your presence would hopefully calm him down. You were glad to sleep with your boyfriend, as he was a quiet sleeper and looked quite beautiful when he slept. Due to the excitement of being able to sleep with him, you ate your dinner very fast, and couldn't stop bothering him about going to sleep early. Eventually, after annoying him for a lot of times, he quit trying to fight it, and went to bed at 8 instead of his usual midnight bedtime.

As soon as you lay next to him in the bed, you had a terrible feeling that you wouldn't be enough to make him calm down. Scary thoughts of nightmares began to whirl about in your head as well, but you took deep breaths and thought positive thoughts to push the scary ones away. Right before you fell asleep, you felt Xie Lian wrap his arms around your chest. You didn't like how tightly he was holding onto you, but you were too tired to comment on it or push him off. So you just fell asleep.

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Only three hours had passed until you were awakened by the feeling of Xie Lian pulling at your body and the sounds of him screaming at the top of his lungs. You were seriously concerned as to why he was screaming like a banshee at 3 in the morning, so you opened your eyes to see what was wrong.

He was sweating, and the sheets around him were all wet. Tears were running down his cheeks, his hair was tangled, and he looked like a mess. When he saw that you were looking at him, he buried his face in his pillow in embarrassment.

"You don't need to be embarrassed," you told him. "Just tell me why you're acting this way."

"I-I had a n-nightmare," he sobbed. "Y-you didn't s-stop them. N-not like h-he did..."

You had just about had enough of him comparing you to his past lover. On a better day- or rather, a better night- you would have been more caring and respectful of his emotions and tried to comfort him. However, tonight, you weren't feeling as caring, and instead of being polite and just ending the conversation there or changing the topic because you disliked it, you chose to shout at him.

"I'm not him, damn it! I'm sorry if I'm not good enough for you, but you chose me to be your significant other, so you had better accept me as I am, or I'll leave you to cry like this every night, you bastard!"

As soon as those words came out of your mouth, you realized that you had done a terrible thing. Instead of feeling scared and stopping his crying, which was what you thought he would do, Xie Lian began to cry louder now.

"Y-you're n-not like him... h-he was n-nice... Y-you're a m-m-monster!"

"I'll show you me being a monster!" you snapped in response.

You got up out of the bed and heard him hastening to get off and follow you. Without turning around, you said, "Stay there. You'll sleep on your own tonight, and you'll do this every night until you learn your lesson."

"Y-Y/N... s-stay... y-you're not him... I-I know..."

He was choking on his words, and you could see that you leaving him would seriously adversely affect him. So you chose to be kind and laid back down in the bed with him.

You felt a bit uncomfortable when his back pressed up against yours. You weren't used to a man being so close to you. You felt his body rising and falling with his steady breaths (once you had gotten back in bed he had stopped crying) and you felt him moving under the covers. He wasn't tossing and turning, though, but moving naturally and smoothly. His movements and his soft breathing in your ears lulled you to sleep.

You only prayed you could wake up in the morning without having to deal with any more of his nightmares.

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Xie Lian woke up early and looked at your sleeping body on the bed. He reached out and gently touched your face, then jerked away when he heard you snore loudly, like an angry bull. You hadn't gotten much sleep last night, and he wanted to let you sleep in. You deserved it for having to deal with his foolish nightmares, and his delusions about Hua Cheng, his past partner.

Your hair was streaming out onto the pillow, and he stroked it gently, murmuring sweet nothings as he felt the smoothness and thickness of your h/c locks. Your eyes fluttered open, then closed again. They were such a beautiful color.

Your h/c, h/l hair, and your e/c eyes were the most dazzling things he had ever seen. You were the most dazzling human he had ever seen in the long years that he had been alive.

So why did he keep thinking of Hua Cheng when he saw you?

Why did he keep on comparing you to a dead, obsolete lover?

You were too beautiful and unique to be classed along with or compared with any other lover- or any other human. You were his special treasure, and even though you didn't soothe his nightmares just with your presence, like Hua Cheng did, or didn't have the most polite tone sometimes, you had good intentions and kind words most of the time.

"You are a fool, Xie Lian," Xie Lian said to himself, looking at your sleeping body. "You compare this beautiful treasure to a simple human. They are so much more. They are the person you will spend the rest of your life with. They are a treasure beyond the reach of any human or god. And they are all mine."

After waiting a moment and giving you a long kiss, he said:

"And they are not him."




✧𝔻𝔼𝕍𝕆𝕋𝕀𝕆ℕ~ 𝒶𝓃𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝑜𝓃𝑒𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓉 𝒸𝑜𝓁𝓁𝑒𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃~✧On viuen les histories. Descobreix ara