✧𝔻𝔼𝕍𝕆𝕋𝕀𝕆ℕ~ 𝒶𝓃𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝑜𝓃𝑒𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓉 𝒸𝑜𝓁𝓁𝑒𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃~✧

✧ Lan Zhan and Lan Xichen- Drunk (part two) ✧

A/N- This part two has the same set things as the part one- you're the middle child in the Lan family. I don't know if I specified gender but if I didn't you don't have any specified gender here. I hope you enjoy. Also that's a cute comic up above lol.

ALTHOUGH YOU SWORE the last time your two brothers got drunk would be the last time, you couldn't fight their pouting and whining, and so you reluctantly found yourself back at the tavern again another night.

The kind old tavern owner knew both your brothers were sensitive to alcohol, so he made a plan with you beforehand to give your brothers nonalcoholic drinks and pretend they were alcoholic. You doubted it would work, but you were willing to try.

After three drinks of completely non alcoholic apple cider- special for the season- Xichen, your smart older brother, realized you had tricked him. He slammed his cup down on the table and uncharacteristically demanded for alcohol. You tried to stop him, but nothing stopped Lan Xichen when he wanted something, and so you let him and Wangji drink all the alcohol they wanted, while cursing your kindness. Why did you have to have to be such a good sister?

After five cups- five seemed to be the limit for sanity- Xichen had fallen asleep and Wangji was crying over the death of an invisible bunny. You began to realize how foolish you were to give in to their cute pouts and whining. Now you were regretting it.

"Little Hopfoot!" Wangji was sobbing, his head buried in your chest, his lips pressed together in one of those infamous pouts. "Why did you leave me, Hopfoot? I miss you!"

"Wangji, there is no Hopfoot. Hopfoot does not exist," you said firmly, not good at dealing with your drunk brothers. At least Xichen was sleeping- if he was up and around too it would be an issue.

"B-but Hopfoot... Hopfoot replaced my siblings. When... when Wangji was mad at Xichen gege and Y/N jiejie/gege, he was my gege. Now he's gone," Wangji sobbed.

You realized now that Hopfoot probably did exist- either that or it was a fantasy made up by your younger brother's mind to soothe him when you were angry at him. So that meant that if you brought him to this bunny, he would feel better, right?

You took Wangji by the hand and said, "Let me bring you to Hopfoot, okay? Follow your jiejie/gege."

Wangji leaned his head against your shoulder and sobbed gently, digging his nails into your skin and turning his sobs into wails, crying about everything under the sun that had hurt him.

"Wei Ying... Hopfoot... Xichen gege... they all left me. Why did they leave me? Do they hate me? I'm sorry... I'm sorry, gege! Gege, come back!"

He kept on yelling for Xichen, which hurt your heart. In his inebriated state, he probably didn't realize that Xichen was just not with him at the moment, thinking he was dead because he didn't see him. You did everything you could to calm him- stroked his hair, took his hands in yours, kissed him, even did all those things at once. But he just didn't stop crying.

Once you reached the bunny burrows, you pointed them out to Wangji several times before letting your death grip on him go and saying, "Go find Hopfoot. He's there somewhere."

You walked off to the river, hearing Wangji's distant laughter and cheers; obviously he had found Hopfoot or another rabbit he thought was the infamous one. He was no longer sobbing, but this time crying out in happiness. However, past the crashing sounds of the unceasing waterfall, you could hear someone else crying. And when you listened closely, you recognized Xichen. He must have woken up, seen that you were gone, and gotten badly worried. Poor gege. He was always so worried when you were gone...

You got up and walked towards the source of the sounds, stopping when you saw a man lying curled up on a rock, holding on to a bunny for dear life, and sobbing. Under the faint moonlight, you could see stains of something on the man's hanfu. The stress must have made Xichen throw up or choke up blood. He'd done that many times before, especially when he was sick or drunk. When you came closer, you smelled the unpleasantly cloying scent of vomit mixed with blood, and resisted the urge to vomit yourself. You had to stay level headed for your family.

"Xichen ge, I'm here. Wangji's in the forest. We didn't leave you. Don't worry," you said in a soft, soothing voice, which you had mastered using on Wangji and distressed juniors.

"M-me-meimei/didi," Xichen stammered in a weak voice, sounding and looking truly miserable, not at all like the clan leader he had been since fourteen.

"My poor gege... you were worried, weren't you?" you murmured, stroking Xichen's long, perfectly straight hair. "You thought we were dead, didn't you?"

When he tearfully nodded, you enveloped him in your arms- bodily fluids be damned- and held him as he sobbed. Wangji, hearing his brother's cries, came to where the two of you were, cradling a very plump and very angry looking bunny in his arms.

"Wangji found Hopfoot!" he announced proudly, holding the bunny up in the air before tragically dropping it down to the ground and making it yelp and whimper in fear. "He loves Wangji."

Judging by the scratches on your didi's arms, that was not the case. But you didn't crush his fantasies. You simply smiled and said, "Yes Wangji, the bunny does love you. But we need to go home. Can you say bye bye to the bunny now?"

"Okay! Bye bye, Hopfoot!" Wangji exclaimed, as happy as a kid in a candy store.

When he saw that Hopfoot had already ran away, terrified from being dropped, he brought his lips together into a pout again, drool shining on the edges of his thick lips. Why did your brothers have to be so damned cute when they were drunk?

"Oh... he already left," he said sadly, but brightening up almost immediately later. "Well, say hi to the wife and kids for me! I hope Hopfoot Junior learns to not get into fights anymore!"

With that, he turned back to you and said, "Let's go home, Y/N. Wangji is very tired."

"How tired?" you asked playfully as you started on your walk back to Cloud Recesses.

Wangji spread his arms as wide as he possibly could in answer, then giggled playfully. Xichen, who was staggering and leaning against your shoulder from the amount of exhaustion he had, smiled weakly at his younger brother, the brightest star in his sky.

"I love you two," he said drowsily. "You're the greatest."

"I love you two too," you responded, whirling around just in time to catch Wangji, who was about to fall face first into the rock garden. "Even if you are idiots sometimes."

Wangji leaned his head on your other unoccupied shoulder and said, "Wangji loves you too. Even if you're mean gege Xichen and gege/jiejie Y/N sometimes."

You smiled lovingly at your two brothers, your precious gifts from God. You would love them and cherish them forever. Two such treasures deserved such a treatment, of course. You would never let them go.

God, I love you two pathetic drunkards.

A/N- Writing about drunk Lan Zhan and Xichen is always fun, but this one was especially fun. I loved writing about Lan Zhan being cute with Hopfoot especially. I think little Hopfoot deserves his own focus in another oneshot soon. So look forward to that.